The Ninja and the Cape
by PastelSweet
Summary: 'I had two options: ask him outright for the cape, or simply keep going along as if the cape stealing idea had never popped into my head.' What's a ninja to do when she can't get her hands on the thing she wants most? Steal, of course!
1. Chapter 1

**Kay, I have no idea why I'm doing this, just to let you know. Okay, now we've got that out of the way, this is just going to be a short little story about the adventures of Yuffie trying to steal Vincent's cape. I have no idea where I'm headed with this, but I'm sure i'll figure it out soon... hopefully. Anyway, i hope you enjoy reading whatever you could call this, and hopefully you'll drop me a nice little review ;) A girl can dream, can't she?  
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I swear I didn't do it on purpose.

Well, at the beginning it was on purpose… but then it all just got out of control. Like always. I should learn more self restraint… or at least learn to quit while I'm ahead. Bah, screw it. What's the point of doing anything if you don't have fun and push the limit? And let me tell you - what I did was _fun._ Well, except for the yelling part, but that's what I get for pushing him so far. But of course you guys have no idea what I'm going on about, so I should probably explain.

It was a brilliant, sunny day with everything around everywhere in vibrant colour mode, just the way I liked it. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the kids were laughing. It was the ultimate day of awesomeness for everyone and everything. The exception being Vinnie, of course.

As I'm sure you're all aware, the Vinnie I speak of is a doom-and-gloom-death-stare-anything-that-looks-at-me kinda guy, but I'm sure you all know that. Anyway, he tends to wear this god awful cape everywhere, and as I'm sure most of you _aren't _aware, that cape has been singing me its devilish siren song ever since the day I first laid eyes on it._ 'Steeeall me Yuffie, you know you want to!'_

I swear that cape was out to get me from the beginning.

So it was upon this gorgeous day I happened to cross paths with Vincent Valentine in Tifa's bar, when the cape started talking to me. '_Yuffie, if you steal me, it'll be the most awesomest, ninja-ist thing you could do, no one has ever tried to take me off this awful man, and you could be the person to do it! Think of how much more awesome that would make you, you'd be a hero!'_

That cape is eviler than Sephiroth.

Anyway, since I totally agreed with the evil cape, I figured this was my one chance to finally get my hands on it, since Vince would _totally_ never allow me to touch it normally. I always wondered whether it was soft, or whether it felt all grimy and dusty. I even wondered what it _smelt_ like. So, this was my chance to find out, was it not?

I cleverly stood in Vincent's brooding corner– let's call it VBC for short – chatting nonsense to him so he wouldn't suspect I was up to something. He was always good at that kinda thing. Maybe he had a sixth sense that detected whenever I was up to something… like a Yuffie trouble detector. Yeah, that'd be right. Trust him to have something like that to ruin my fun.

So anyway, I used my awesome skill of being able to talk utter rubbish whilst thinking of something completely different to help me with the plotting of my brilliant idea. From VBC, I realized he had a pretty good view of the overall bar, which limited my options somewhat. Luckily, Leviathan decided to love me today, and blessed Tifa's bar with a pretty large crowd. I could work with this, but as you all know, I could work with anything.

Excusing myself from VBC, I sauntered over to Tifa behind the bar, innocently offering my assistance to her, which earned me a suspicious look. I wasn't very surprised.

"And why would you want to help me today, Yuffie?" Tifa asked me accusingly, correctly guessing I was up to something, but of course she couldn't know that.

"Because you look like you might need some help, that's all," I used my most innocent voice, giving her my most heartfelt expression. I saw her quickly scope out the crowd in the bar, her forehead slightly crinkling when she realized the crowd was a tad larger than she originally thought. I inwardly danced when Tifa relented, a small nod as her sign of giving me approval. I opted on giving her a large smile in return, one I didn't even have to fake; I was genuinely pleased that I was able to get started on my plan.

Part of the charade was to work in the bar like normal, while Vincent stood unsuspecting in his little corner. Then, as soon as closing time hit it was time to put my real plan in action…

Anyway, as we all know, nothing I ever think of goes to plan. Ever. So I guess it shouldn't have shocked me when closing time slowly crawled over to us, my plan slowly crawling the other way as I realized Vincent was leaving. Him, leaving!

How rude!

Anyway, since my first plan went away running in circles whilst set on fire - I decided it was time for plan B. Every good ninja has a plan B for everything. EVERYTHING.

Too bad I hadn't thought of it yet.

Well, it was time to improvise! Improvising wasn't too hard, it just had to seem natural...ish. As soon as Vincent stepped out the door, it was time for me to put my creative genius to the test. I quickly yelled goodbye to Tifa, jumping over the bench in an escape to not only reach Vincent before he got too far, but to also escape the perilous job of cleaning mugs and washing dishes… now _that_ was a chore to avoid.

Ducking out the door, I used my super stealthy ninja moves to sneak up on the vampire, only to have him whirl around and face me, causing me to nearly plow right into him.

"OH MY GAWD VINNIE, YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!" I screamed at him, clutching my chest in surprise. How could he have heard me? HOW?

"Hn," was all he said. Really. He nearly kills me, and all he says is 'Hn.' Stupid vampire. Maybe I should make an attempt on his life then 'Hn' him, and then he'll see how it feels! Nyuk nyuk nyuk. Anyway, he hadn't shot me yet so I took that as a sign that I could walk alongside him, my brain going a million miles an hour.

I had two options: ask him outright for the cape, or simply keep going along as if the cape stealing idea had never popped into my head. Because if I ask Vinnie for the cape and he says no, then he'll be alerted to the fact that I want the stupid cape, and then that makes my task just that much more harder… but on the other foot, if I act like I don't care about the cape – or, my usual self – then I could just easily steal it and everything will be fine and dandy.

Well, as fine and dandy as things for me can get.

While I was thinking these genius thoughts, I felt a laser practically burning through my skull, but I realized that was only Vinnie death staring me. As usual. I looked up at him with my innocent face on, but it's like he never even saw it. Stupid, smart, sexy vampire.

_Wait!_ Cross out that sexy bit... right? Well, he _does_ look rather sexy in his-

_No. Bad Yuffie!_

"Yuffie."

_Ohgawdohgawdohgawd,_ he knew I was thinking about whether or not he's sexy! I had to act cool, act cool dammit!

"Yes, Mi'lord?"

Oh yeah, way to go Yuffie. Totally cool and non-suss. I earnt an eyebrow raise at this, but nothing was spoken at what I said. He already knew I was weird, so it was okay. He didn't need to say it.

"… You're quiet."

Oh, thank the heavens! He just thought I had become a mute. Well, I did speak earlier but still.

"Oh, just thinking," I replied offhandedly, desperately hoping that he'd drop it. I knew that if he kept talking to me, then my genius plan would be ruined… RUINED. And that couldn't happen. Not at all.

He didn't say anything to that, and I was glad he didn't. If he kept me talking, something about the cape-nicking would have been blurted out, and then he'd pull out Cerberus and then I would be splattered everywhere. Besides on his cape. _No one_ was allowed to get their splatter on it. Ever.

Skipping down the street with Vinnie, I was slightly shocked when we came to a stop. I first thought it was so Vincent could kill me, (_"Hey Yuffie, wanna go stand in that alleyway and close your eyes so I can shoot you in the face so I don't have to put up with you and your constant blabbering? Thanks, you're a doll. Love ya!")_ But it was actually because we had reached his apartment.

Yes, you heard me right. Vincent Valentine had bought an apartment in Edge, and didn't bother telling me. I would have figured out about it sooner or later, but I was still hurt that he didn't tell me. Stupid Vinnie.

But this was all okay, because it added nicely to my plan, nyuk nyuk nyuk. Now that I knew where he lived… it would be just that much easier to get that cape.

He said goodbye to me before entering inside, his cape bidding me farewell as well –_ 'Goodbye Yuffie, you missed your chance to steal me tonight, but just wait until tomorrow… you won't be able to resist!' – _leaving me to my own devices. What a mistake on his part. Now that I knew where he lived, it was over for him.

That cape never knew what was coming.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey again, I'm going to try update this weekly and as fluently as possible, so we'll see how that goes. Anywho, this is a quick update, so sorry if the spelling or grammar anything is wrong, its just that it's about 2 in the morning and I just had a nightmare, so im refusing to go to sleep. Guess who suffers from Sleep Paralysis? I do! Freaky, freaky stuff... Especially the hallucinations. Bleugh. Anywho, thanks to my two lovely reviewers, you know who you are... I thank you with all my heart for taking the time to review :) I hope you set a fine example for the other 100 people who've viewed this story so far! *Hint hint*.  
_Disclaimer:_ I forgot to do this before, so i'll do it now. Because i can. I don't own anything from Final Fantasy VII or anything associated with it, no matter how hard I might try. You can only get so far with 3 dollars, and buying the rights to this would not be one of them.  
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The next day was just as brilliant, with the magnificent sun shining… shiningly and all that jazz. It was a _pleasure _to wake up early that morning, my genius plan for the day taking over all other thought.

I had been staying at Tifa and Cloud's place recently, since there was no way in hell I was going back to Wutai and I didn't really see the point buying a place if I was just going to get up and go adventuring all the time. Why waste perfectly good gil on that, when I could use it to buy ice cream? Simple logic, really.

Anyway, I burst out of the spare room I was staying in after showering and readying myself, giving the world a big, gorgeous smile as a good morning, before happily skipping down the stairs to grab some of Tifa's awesome breakfast. She was the best cook _ever._

Arriving at the table, I sat down next to two equally as energetic kids, chirping a happy hello at them. I ignored their alarmed looks and focused on sitting, since my body seemed to try and jump off the chair every few seconds. Very annoying, really.

Just as I was about to leap off the chair – and most probably destroy it – Spikes walked down the stairs to join us. I smiled innocently at him, watching his eyes narrow slightly as he sat down.

"Yuffie." There was no trust in his voice, just suspicion. Ahh, he knew me well. Too well.

"Cloud," I greeted back, trying to keep my voice full of sincerity. His eyes narrowed further at this, causing Denzel and Marlene to look down at the empty places on the table in front of them. I quickly decided to switch tactics, mainly to avoid being slaughtered by him and his absurdly large sword. Why the hell did he need such a ginormous sword, anyway? Maybe he was over-compensating for something… nyuk nyuk nyuk! A small giggle escaped my lips then, and I felt Cloud trying to burn a hole in my head. Probably trying to reach my thoughts… pfft, good luck! Not even I can reach my thoughts!

Well, I can, but still.

Just as he was about to gut me (mentally, at least), Tifa entered the room with a plate full of pancakes. _Thank the lord! _I was afraid I was going to have to starve. I smiled and happily thanked her, not missing the look she gave Cloud, but I didn't care. I had tasty food, a tasty drink and a tasty plan. What more could a girl ask for?

Materia, of course! Hehehhe.

But since I wasn't going to get any unless I swiped it or hunted it down, I settled for the tastiness of knowing I was a genius with incredibly tasty food settling in my tummy like a warm lump of love – Tifa love, to be exact.

Devouring my meal, I didn't even register when Denzel and Marlene left, I just kept on shoveling the food in my mouth like my life depended on it. It probably did, I mean, I _love_ food, especially from Tifa! Tifa food is like… like… there's no words to explain it! Well, who cares, I'm gonna try explain it right now anyway, just because I love you all. It's like…

_!_

… Yeah, I surprise myself sometimes too.

Anywho, by the time I had finished pretty much inhaling my breakfast, I realized it was too late. The kids had gone – stupid traitors, I was going to have to teach them about being loyal to me – and Cloud and Tifa suspected I was up to something. Darn them! Was everyone out to ruin my fun? Seemed like it.

Tifa sat down on the chair next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Yuffie?"

"Yes, Tifa?"

"… Whatever you're planning, please don't do it," I could sense the silent begging in her tone, but that didn't change my mind one bit.

"Who said I'm planning anything?" I countered, feigning my innocence to the height of perfection I had trained it to be.

"It's obvious," Cloud said quietly and I nearly fell of my chair in shock.

"Did _the_ Cloud Strife, greatest hero of the universe, speak willing to me just then, or are my ears deceiving me?" I mocked him, silently laughing as his face turned a slight red. Tifa just gave me a motherly glare though, the kind that always forced Denzel and Marlene to give in and tell the truth. It never affected me though; I was the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi! I could not let a simple glare be my downfall!

I glared in return, initiating the greatest glare battle of all time! We all knew, however, that Tifa would win. She always did. Her amazingly powerful gaze juuust overpowered mine, rendering me the loser. Pfft, yeah. Yuffie Kisaragi, loser? Never! I was just… saving my glare power for someone who was worth it!

Yeah… that was it!

I just sat there now, trying my best to not smile at Tifa. "I'm not up to anything!"

She gave me a disbelieving look – yeah, whatever happened to trust? – as Cloud pulled out his phone and dialed a number. I honestly didn't care what was going on, so I started to walk away. I didn't get far though, as I heard cloud utter 5 words that gave me a complete and fulfilling sense of pride.

"We have a code Yuffie."

Honestly, they had a code just for me! I felt that warm fuzzy feeling of happiness swirl in my stomach – or it could've just been the breakfast, but I prefer to think of it as pride – as I turned around to face the two people sitting there. Cloud just had the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face, and Tifa had just the tiniest bit of concern etched on hers.

"Aw, shucks guys, is it really necessary for me to have my own special code?" I said it playfully, but they both took it seriously.

"Yes." Oh wow, a unanimous answer! How original. I frowned at them both, before I detected a certain swishing sound behind me. I would know that sound _anywhere. _I didn't even have to turn around to know it was that stupid vampire.

"Seriously?" I used my most emotionless voice, hoping that my head wouldn't betray me and start telling my mouth to babble something. They had no idea what they just did! Did they honestly think Vincent could control me? Never! I nearly burst out laughing when I realized how much closer they had brought me to my goal, but I managed to keep it inside. Just.

"She's plotting," Cloud stated simply, before giving me a slight glare and exciting out to the garage, probably to his beloved Fenrir so he could start his deliveries for the day. I felt Vincent's gaze on my back, but I refused to turn around to face his glare. I'd had enough glaring for one day, honestly. It was like everyone just picked one day a year to glare at me, and today was that day!

"I'm so sorry Vincent, but Cloud has deliveries today and I have a lot of errands to run and the bar, so would you mind watching her, only for today? Usually we would just let her be, but when she has this look… Cloud and I think it's best to keep her under supervision."

I snorted at Tifa's little speech, crossing my arms across my chest in an aggravated manner. As if I_, Yuffie Kisaragi, _needed to be watched, since I had this apparent look on my face! I turned around to see Vincent nod wisely, and I couldn't help the sudden urge to poke my tongue out at him.

Oh, how I hated them all…

Especially that cape. That stupid, evil, horrible, glorious cape.


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, only 3 days late, but that's cool. Anyway, I might of had this up earlier, but I wrote a Cloti oneshot instead... It begged to be written, dont judge! Hahaha. Anyway, thanks to all your lovely reviews- I'm going to try reply to them now, because I feel the need. Anyway, sorry if this chapters a bit rushed or whatnot, I might fix it up a bit later. Or maybe not. So yeah... read and review?  
Disclaimer- I don't own any of this. Nor will I ever. If I did own it, I would currently be residing in my dream house with my paddock full of unicorns making me cheese sandwiches.  
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Not many people know this, but Vincent does actually show emotion.

_Ohmiigawddnowaythat'scrazytalk!_

Yeah, I thought so too. Anyway, you just had to know how to look for it, cause everyone knows Vince isn't the kinda guy who's all open and stuff. Like, most people would use words, or actions, or even a noise of some sort, but not Vince. Oh, no, Vinnie has to go be difficult and be the equivalent of a rock. Yeah… he's a living rock. But me, being the awesome person I am, had developed the ability to speak Vincent Valentine language, a feat not many had achieved.

I had perfected the art of deciphering what his glares meant – though most ended up meaning he wanted to shoot me - and I had learned to watch his eyes for a flicker of anything that could mean anything. For example, Vinnie never used his mouth to smile, he used his eyes. This was because he was such an old geezer that he had forgotten how to use his face properly.

Well, at least that's what my theory is. It's a pretty solid one, too.

But you could tell he was smiling because his eyes had this little shine to them, you know? Or maybe I'm just reading too far into things. Or maybe I'm just going insane. Or maybe I'm completely correct in everything I've been saying. Or maybe I'm just-

"Yuffie."

"OH MY GAWD, YOU'RE A MIND READER!"

Yeah, I accidently let that one slip unintentionally. But seriously, what crazy perfect timing was that? But… you know what? Maybe it is just because I'm Yuffie. I mean, I'm super awesome, super skilled, super smart _and _a super babe, so me being super talented at Vincent speak just kinda falls into place.

Well now, Vinnie had just solved a mystery and he didn't even know it!

I received a slightly surprised glare from him at my sudden comment, but I brushed it aside. The glaring would have to start sooner and later. Decidedly bored, I skipped my way over to a stool in the bar and sat down, swinging my legs because I can and its fun. But mainly cause its fun. As I sat their swinging, I heard Vince make his way over to sit next to me, but I mainly noticed the particular swishing noise his cape made.

_Swish!_

'_Yuffie…'_

_Swish!_

'_Yuuuuffiiieee…'_

_Swish!_

'_Yuffie!'_

_Swish!_

'_Yuffie! Help me, I need to be stolen!'_

Was it normal for capes to speak in impossibly high tones that you would associate with a unicorn? And while we're at it, where the hell did it learn to speak English, let alone speak at all? Trust Vinnie to have something that weird around him all the time.

So anyway, as I sat there, I mulled over my current situation. It seemed that I had Vincent all to myself today (nyuk nyuk nyuk…), which came with the added bonus of having that cape in my vicinity, which meant…

_Ultimateninjastealingtime!_

Its times like these I'm glad I became such an awesome ninja. Back to the problem at hand- I needed a super incredibly awesome foolproof plan to get Vinnie's cape, which sounds a lot easier than it actually is. Vincent, as I said before, is the equivalent of a living rock. But, he's a living rock with a brain. A brain that works, of course.

I knew this would be a lot harder than the others mission I had set myself before, since they were all usually pranks aimed at a certain chocobo head, and we all knew he wasn't the brightest in the bunch. Even Teef knows this, but she loves him anyway. Leviathan bless her kind soul.

Anyway, it was while I was in this train of thought I not only made a solemn vow to myself to get chocobo butt back for calling Vincent to pretty much babysit me, but I also struck upon a _brilliant_ idea, and this one could kill two birds with one stone! But my idea was the equivalent of a freaking huge boulder that could kill a hundred birds, but Vinnie and Cloud weren't exactly the kind to go down without a fight.

I leapt off my chair with amazing grace and finesse, adding in a twirl for awesomeness, and grabbed Vinnie's clawed arm to try and pull him up aswell. Needless to say, it didn't work.

"…"

Yeah, he's so cool he talks with dots.

"Come' on Vinnie! To the Batmobile!" As you can probably already tell, my clever wit and charm was wasted on Vinnie, I didn't even get a glare or an "Hn" in response, just a blank look. And a blink. Yeah, I say something awesome and I just end up getting someone blink at me. Nice.

"Aw Vince, come _on! _You don't expect me to sit inside all day, do you?"

Ahh, now he was seeing the light! He fluidly rose from the chair and followed me out the door, catching me when I attempted to knick all the gil he had. He started scolding me – _me!_ – but then gave up when he noticed I wasn't listening.

What a sight to see, a gorgeous young Wutain princess skipping down the streets of Edge with a leather-clad vampire glaring holes in the back of her head. To anyone watching, it would have looked like I had a stalker. To me, it looked like I had annoyed the wrong guy who had a gun. And knew how to use it.

He followed me silently, occasionally letting a small sigh out, probably planning all the 101 ways to kill me, but I kept on truckin' with a skip in my step and a song in my ear… wait, is that even the right saying? Bah, it is now.

When I finally reached my destination, I heard him tut in disapproval before following me into the store. I bounced up to the counter, smiling widely at the clerk behind it. Whether he starting cowering because of my large smile or Vinnie's death glare I'll never know, but he was brave enough to not run away.

"H-hello Miss. What c-can I d-d-do for you t-t-oday?"

"I'd like your biggest bucket of your finest pink paint, and make it snappy!"

The man tripped over his own feet trying to get away from us, and I could feel the disapproval radiating off Vinnie. I felt his hand on my shoulder, and I spun around to face him from the sudden contact, surprised by the amusement in his eyes.

"Couldn't you think of anything more original?" He asked quietly, which shocked me even further. How the hell did he know what I was planning? Hopefully he only knew about the whole turning every single thing of Cloud's pink, and not the whole idea of coming back later to purchase some neon yellow paint for his pad later on.

"Gawd! This is plenty original, thank you! I just forgot to ask for the sparkles."

"… I see." Why yes, Vincent Valentine _was _amused!

"Are you going to stop me?" He thought about it for a minute, before chuckling (chuckling!) and replied with the correct answer.

"…No."

Ahh, good Vampy. Seems like he had a grudge against Cloud, too.

"Why not?"

"… Because Cloud's call interrupted me from something important."

Oh, now he had important things to do? I always thought he just sat around brooding with some red wine in his coffin, reminiscing about the good days with his cape and visiting Miss Popsicle in her cave. Well, apparently I was wrong.

The store guy returned with a humungous bucket of paint, and I gleefully paid for it – but swiping a few paint brushes on my way out to make up for it – before bursting out onto the big bad streets of Edge.

I was re-organizing the stack of goods in my arms – with no help from Vinnie – when I bumped into someone. I mumbled a sorry before trying to walk around them, but I failed in doing that when I looked up at them.

"Well hey there, Princess."

Gawd, why'd it have to be Reno? It was times like these I wish I was invisible. Quick, ever so trusty cape, save me from the clutches of this evil, evil man!

It didn't hear my telepathic cry for help, and kept fluttering uselessly behind Vincent, laughing at me.

Oh, just you wait, stupid cape… Revenge is such a beautiful thing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Surprise! You know, I only got this written today because i wrote it in Careers, instead of doing a test that I've already done before about what we are Career-wise. Im a Promoter-Supporter, and it said i should be a military instructer... yeah, right. Anyway, This is purely because I appreciate all your awesome reviews that I've now officially started replying too, except for you fletch, your anonymous so I can't quite reply to you, but thank you for reading and picking your fave quotes! Anywho, the lovely wedding is in 3 days, and my updates will (hopefully) be more frequent after that, since it'll be term 2 holidays for me. Sorry if this sounds a tad funny or something, I think there's something off with it but I just can't find it :\ Anyway, thanks for reading & reviewing, and keep it up ;) All my faavourite, special, fun-tastical reviewers will get a nice chapter dedicated to them now! This ones for XlittlexninjaX24, for being my first reviewer, It made my day when i got that first shiny little email.  
Disclaimer: If i owned anything from Final fantasy 7, I would have quit school and be living in my hundred story house made of solid gold by now. With monkey butlers and the works.  
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You know, it's kinda funny how you can be having the most wonderful day, and then it all goes to hell when you bump into a certain red head outside a hardware store. Now, usually this wouldn't be such a bad thing, but let me explain.

Once upon a time, a certain awesome ninja who was silly and an idiot decided that hey, Reno's actually a bit of a looker! So, it was upon one fated evening that this certain ninja had had a little bit too much to drink, and was unable to walk without her face meeting the floor. Now, ninja's don't like to get drunk, and this one was no exception. It impairs their reflexes and mad skills, which could ultimately lead to their downfall.

But this ninja was having an awful day. It was her 21st birthday, and none of her friends could make it to see her. Her father was trying to push her into marrying some stuck-up stranger, and her best vampire friend was off sucking people's blood, or something equally as weird. The rest of her motley crew was unavailable as well, sadly, so she decided to drink herself silly.

This was when that red headed Turkey decided to intervene, and kindly offered to walk her home. She told him to shove off and to go womanize a bear, but he didn't listen to her. He happily piggy-backed her home, which she was thankful for.

Now, please remember she was drunk _and _lonely, so she decided to thank him with a kiss. Not just a peck on the lips either, but Reno didn't care, he was all for it. Stupid Turkey.

When the awesome ninja awoke, she realized the error of her ways, and vowed that she was never drinking again. Of course, she couldn't change her actions, so she had more than a few awkward encounters with the Turkey, but thankfully he never said anything… when people were around, of course. The few times they were unfortunately alone with each other, he seemed to want to start a relationship with her, which was possibly the most shocking thing _ever._ It was more shocking than the time Sephiroth decided he didn't want to be dead and had 3 little remnants run around for him, before he decided he wanted to show up too and kill Cloud – which is fair enough. Sometimes _I_ want to kill him – and it was even more shocking than the time Vinnie first laughed… and _that_ was pretty darn shocking!

So ever since then, that certain ninja had been trying her hardest to keep away from the red headed Turk, and was actually doing pretty good… until now.

Yeah, guess who that stupid ninja was?

… Fine, it was me! There. I said it. Happy? It's not like I wasn't ashamed enough already!

So, when I accidently bumped into Reno and he said hey, I decided it was in my own personal interests to kick him in the shins and run away.

Too bad things never work out for me.

"Hey, now! What kind of hello is that?" He was looking at me with feigned hurt, but I resisted the urge to kick him again.

"Hey Reno," I mumbled back quietly, feeling the blush spread across my face. Stupid face, quit it!

He had the gall to smirk at me, before he spotted the paint and brushes I was carrying.

"Well now, what are we up to princess? Has Vincent finally outed himself and you're helping him re-decorate?" I could practically feel the laser Vinnie was glaring at him burn through his skin, and I made the stupid mistake to laugh at Reno's comment.

Well, who can blame me? He got the picture of a gay Vinnie stuck in my head! Vinnie couldn't be gay though, I wanted him!

Yeah, that's right. I wanted Vincent Valentine all to myself! Too bad he was still hung up over that crystal chick… but I was working on fixing that.

"It's nice to see you and all Reno, but I'm on a mission."

Now please, please, _please_ go away!

"I can see that," he nodded towards the paintbrushes I held, before giving me another smirk. "Well, have a nice life."

I let out a sigh of relief as he walked away, returning to the task at hand. I started skipping down the street again, my trusty companion Vincent brooding at my side. He seemed a little less cheerful than earlier, but that was to be expected. It was _Vincent Valentine._ He had more mood swings than a moody thing with a garden packed full of swings.

By the time we reached the bar, the clouds were arriving, getting thicker and darker every second. I cautiously peeked into the bar, checking for any sign of human life but it was empty. I ducked into the room, listening for any sign that Cloud or Tifa were home early. Luckily, all was well. Denzel and Marlene were off playing with some kids, and there was no Cid chain smoking under the stairs which was a plus.

I went to Clouds room first, wasting no time in getting to work. I painted the walls first, then his bed, then every available surface of something I could find. It was when I reached his clothes cupboard that I hit a small problem. How was I going to pink-up his clothes? I guess I'd have to paint them, since they were all basically black… but he did have a few pieces of white clothing, much to my happiness.

It was in this instance that I was suddenly able to recall Tifa's instructions on how to wash clothes, but most importantly, I remembered how she thoroughly explained to me that whites had to be washed on their own, because if you put in another colour with them, the colour will wash onto the white clothes and make them kinda like that colour… so, if I got something red and chucked it in, they'd go pink!

Gawd, I was a genius.

I dashed into Marlene and Denzel's room, grabbing the nearest piece of red clothing before running back out to the laundry, ignoring Vincent's disapproving head shaking. I chucked them all in the washing machine together, slamming down the lid and starting it up.

Too impatient to wait, I ran back into Cloud's room, surveying my handy work. I must have been a painter in a past life to do such marvelous work! The only problem was the roof. I didn't want to paint it just plain pink, I wanted to do something special, something to mark it was _me_ – not that he would guess it was anyone else, I just wanted to make sure that I made it _mine – _not some random person who went around painting things pink.

"Hey Vinners, what do you think I should do to the roof?"

"… Whatever you want, Yuffie."

Yeah, typical Vincent response.

They say inspiration is like lightning. It keeps on quickly flashing about, but rarely hits. But, you know what? I think inspiration is like materia. It's just awesome.

Nyuk nyuk nyuk… you thought I was going to give you some witty metaphor, didn't you?

Anyway, whilst I was pondering how to solve my problem, the solution came to me so suddenly I nearly fell over with shock.

I could paint a chocobo on the roof!

Hehehhe… Cloud would love it!

"Hey Vinnie, do we have a ladder?" That's the bad part about being so short, you can't reach anything. But then again, it has its many perks. Being short is a big asset to my ninja skills.

"No. It's too late to get one as well, Cloud will be home soon."

Gah, darn him and his wise-ness! Speaking of such, where was Tifa? She should have be home now… she was probably still out at the stores or something, but she would be home soon... it was about to rain.

"We have to hurry! They'll be home soon, and I need to get to the roof!"

He just looked at me, expecting me to come up with some solution probably. Yeah, he had it so easy! He was just so tall; he could touch the roof if he jumped, but no. Vinnie would never jump to touch a roof, cause' he's such a pa-

"KKIIIAAA!"

I bet he didn't see that one coming!


	5. Chapter 5

**Woo! I'm back! Well, the wedding was totally awesome, and turns out I don't get the house to myself, my older sister is staying to keep an eye on me... grumblegrumble. Anyway, I apologise if this is a bit wierd, I wrote it after my gastroscopy when I was off my face with the anasthetic... but I did re-read it, and it seemed alright. I've been in a reffie mood for a few weeks, so I think Reno might have a big part in this... or not, depends if I decide to keep swinging that way. Anywho, thankyou my awesome reviewers, I can only hope you other silent people who have put me on alert will speak up, making me happier than a pig in poo. Which is pretty happy, I'd imagine. This chapters for fetherhd, simply because you're awesome and you were my second reviewer. Oh, how I love my reviewers... _nudgenudge_ to the rest of you readers!  
Disclaimer: Lets see... I'm under the age of 18, jobless, failing school and considering becoming a hermit. I'm pretty sure that speaks about whether or not I own anything to do with this.  
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Yeah, I'll explain. Just as I was mentally thinking some weird things, it hit me. Vinnie was tall, right? And I was short, and I needed to get to the roof. So, if I jumped on his shoulders, then maybe I could reach to paint my picture on the roof. Clever thinking, yes?

So anyway, I let out a battle cry as I leapt of the ground onto his shoulders, probably startling him to no ends, but he didn't show it. Stupid living rock with brains.

"Yuffie!" He warned in his ever so deep voice, grabbing my ankles to steady me. I grabbed a bunch of hair on his head to steady myself, and it was actually really soft. Softer than _my_ hair. And I like to think my hair is pretty soft.

Anyway, he was about to chuck me out the window when I babbled out my reasoning, then he fell silent as he was contemplating killing me or not.

"… You could have asked."

Pfft, yeah. Like I'd ask. What would I say? _'Hey Vinnsters, mind if I leap up on your shoulders so I can paint a picture on the roof that will ultimately get me killed- then you for letting me? Thanks bud.'_

Yeah, I think not.

"Aw, really Vince? You know asking isn't my style."

It was a weird few minutes, me instructing Vince on where to walk as I drew a gigantic chocobo on the roof. The paint was dripping into my hair, but I didn't care, cause it also meant splatters were landing on his ever so perfect cape. Which meant what, you ask? Well, it meant he'd have to get it cleaned! Perfect stealing opportunity…

Just as I finished the picture, another flash of inspiration hit me. Chuckling out loud, I wrote Cloud's name, then an arrow pointing at the chocobo's butt.

Gawd, I am seriously the best person _ever! _I couldn't wait to see his face.

Speaking of such things, I had just finished putting all the objects I had used in this awesome prank when I heard a person coming up the stairs. It seems that in my rush to clean up all the evidence, I didn't hear Fenrir's engine. Vinnie didn't hear it either, it seemed, so now we were stuck in the middle of a full-on pink room, soon to be red with our blood, with no way out. The windows were still wet, and I didn't want to risk ruining my art.

Using my super ninja skills to think fast, I grabbed Vinnie and shoved him under Cloud's bed, quickly wedging myself under there as well.

"Yuffie…"

"Shh! Quit your whining Vinnie, I wanna see this!"

The footsteps stopped out front of the door, and then I heard more footsteps and then talking. Gawd, hurry up and open the door! I was dying from lack of oxygen here! You and Tifa can talk later!

After the voices quit talking, I heard one set walk away but the other stayed where they were. I saw the door swing open, then Cloud's clunky boots walked one step in, before halting. I suppressed a giggle as I heard his sharp intake of breath, but then cringed as he started yelling.

"YUFFIE! GET HERE _NOW!"_

Ha, like hell I would blondie! It takes more than yelling to get Yuffie Kisaragi's attention!

"Cloud? What's wro-" Tifa walked in now, and I heard her gasp as she looked around the room. Then, she spotted the roof. I held my breath as I waited for her reaction, and nearly died of relief when she started laughing. I could feel Cloud glowering at her, even from here under the bed, and that was nearly enough to start me laughing. Luckily though, I managed to suppress it so I was just shaking with invisible laughter… if Cloud found me now, I'd be a goner for sure.

"What?"

"The roof, Cloud…" She giggled, pointing up at the roof. It was amazing to see all these emotions cross his face – surprise, shock, anger, embarrassment, then finally, murderous rage.

"Where the hell is she?" Cloud pretty much growled that whole sentence, clenching his fists. Oh, how I loved seeing Cloud angry. It really made my day.

"Knowing Yuffie, she would be somewhere near here right now, watching your reaction," gawd, Tifa still hadn't finished giggling, She was like a schoolgirl! Ha, imagine what it'll be like when Marlene and Denzel see it!

"Your right."

Oh, geez. He sounded incredibly calm… oh; I knew that 'calm' tone of his really quite well. It really meant 'I'm about to kill the person nearest to me in the most brutal way possible.'

I shrunk a little further under the bed in an attempt to hide myself more properly, but I forgot Vinnie was there. I backed right up into him, jabbing him in the stomach with my elbow. That was mistake number one.

Mistake number two was elbowing him again.

He was obviously very unhappy with me today, and for whatever reason he felt necessary, he placed one hand on my back and then pushed me right out from under the bed. He pretty much threw me straight into a tank full of hungry, hungry hippos!

Hmm… I actually like that game. Maybe I'll play it later. That's if I live, of course.

Anyway, as I was pushed out from under a sopping wet pink bed by a moody vampire, I had about a million thoughts running through my head. I immediately ignored the unimportant ones, like the ones concerning who I was going to play Hungry Hungry Hippo's with, and I picked the three most important thoughts to focus on.

How was I going to get out of here, how was I going to get Cloud to let me live, and why didn't I just blame it all on Vincent?

Yeah, I took the latter's option.

"It was Vinnie's fault!" I blurted, before running out of the room at top speed. I heard Vincent crawl out from under the bed behind me, but I didn't bother turning around. I just went straight out the door, down the stairs, and out into the street all the while having a blond haired man brandishing a rather intimidating sword following me.

I could hear him yelling obscenities at me, which was quite hilarious in its own right, but I was more worried about how I was going to get away. I mean, I'm downright _fast_ when it comes to running, but so is Cloud.

It was just my luck though, that it decided to rain right there and then. This was probably Aerith's doing, trying to slow one of us down. My guess was Cloud. I mean, surely she wants _me_ to be safe and sound, away from that sword wielding maniac?

Just to confirm this, I felt a rather large gust of wind blow my hair into my face. I was _so_ having a talk to her later about this. Well, you know, a one sided chat. I could hear her laughing in my head, and for one split second, I felt well and truly happy. I mean, it may have been pouring rain, muddy and cold while I was running for my life, but when I heard her laugh, everything was okay. I missed her, I really did.

Which was when I knew what I had to do. Switching course, I started running for her church. It wasn't too far away; we had already run some of the way there. Anyway, Cloud wouldn't kill me in a church – _her _church… would he? Well, there was only one way to find out.

My lungs were nearly empty by the time I reached the church, my throat not pulling enough air in to satisfy me. I ran up to her flower patch and collapsed in the middle of it, mainly because my legs felt like jelly and I couldn't stand up.

I heard Cloud burst through the doors, his breathing just as heavy as mine.

"Aerith, save me!" I tried to yell, but it came out more whispery than anything, but Cloud heard it.

"Aerith isn't going to save you, Yuffie. What you did was… was…" Gawd, how could chocobo butt get his breathing back so easy? Stupid Mako stuff…

"Awesome? Pure genius? Brilliantly, wonderfully, magically, beautifu-"

"Unbelievably stupid!" Gee, I really _had _annoyed him.

**Good.**

"Well _you_ had Mister Swoop and Swish babysit _me!_"

"You were going to cause trouble! Not that you didn't end up succeeding, though."

"Yeah…well… my original plans didn't involve you, okay!"

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. You know, ever since the whole Sephiroth and Geostigma thing, he's become a lot more open and stuff. It's weird. Do you know how _dorky _he looks when he smiles? It's like a baby being born with a really deep voice and being able to talk. It's_ unnatural!_

"Who _did_ it involve then?"

"Captain Funtacular, who else?"

His expression hardened a bit at the mention of Vincent, now that he was over his initial rage at me, and he sighed loudly.

"Why did he let you do it?"

"Because I'm awesome! … Err… and because you dragged him away from something important so he could 'look after' me. Duh."

Gawd, Cloud was so slow. No _wonder_ him and Teef weren't together yet. Hmm… maybe I should help them out too…

"I'm going to let you get away with this if you follow these two conditions."

Woah, he was negotiating with me? That's a first.

"You do whatever you were planning to do to Vincent, and you get everything in my room back to normal. _Everything_."

Ahh, I could do those things easy peasy! Who knew Cloud would hold Vincent so responsible for this?

"Aye aye, Cap'n!"

He gave me a weary look before walking back out, before looking back over at me.

"You can find a way home yourself," he told me, before calling who I presume would be Tifa.

"Wait!" He looked at me with a slight glare, something he has always done since what we have dubbed 'The Stooleti Incident', which may or may not have involved confetti, explosions, stools and he himself. He's never trusted me since… which wasn't quite surprising, on his part. "You know… you could come along and help with what I was planning?"

This was the only time he'd get an offer like this; I never offered to let anyone help me. They just got in my way usually, the exception being today with Vinnie. But then again, he _was_ the one who turned me in… so he's never allowed to come along again. Ever.

He thought about it for a moment, before nodding slightly. I gave him a wide grin in return, and he didn't look at me with suspicion for once. Maybe he was trusting me again now I was letting him into my secret prankster business. Would wonders ever cease?

I lay amongst the flowers for a while, contemplating just about everything. It was only when the freezing cold wind attacked me for the hundredth time I decided to get up and go. Dragging myself off the floor, I realized there was no way I could get home on my own. It was raining, I was tired and caked in mud, and quite frankly, I felt like crud.

Pulling out my phone, I dialed Vincent's number, but he didn't answer. Of course. So I tried Teef, but she wouldn't pick me up on the grounds that she was 'busy'. Pfft, yeah, more like cause she just picked up Cloud and he told her she couldn't come back to get me. I scrolled through my contacts, trying to find at least _one_ person who was guaranteed to come and pick me up. I went through the list twice, not finding anyone suitable… until on my third try, I finally decided to call the one person who would come and get me. It was possibly the most humiliating moment of my life, hands down. Well, excluding the incident when my shirt caught fire. Now _that_ was embarrasing!

I held my breath as the phone was ringing, hoping that at least he would pick up, not even caring about the possible consequences.

"Well, hey there Princess, what's the emergency?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Well hey there readers and readettes, another thrilling installment for you right here! It's crazy how long this took me to write, I think I re-wrote this 3 times before I got it to this stage, and I'm still not happy :\ I might fix it later... but then again, I might not. Anyway, sorry for not replying to half of your reviews, it's been a crazy week. I swear though, I shall reply to each and everyone of you this chapter! Thanks for all the reviews, too, it's just fabulous the amount I've gotten! Keep on reviewing! And thanks for the over 1000 hits! I nearly died with joy when I saw all the hits this had gotten. Made me smile, it did :) This chapters dedicated to all my non-signed in reviewers, because you all have the niceness to speak up and make me do my horrible, horrible happy dance. I love you all! Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this, and I hope you review with the fabulousness I love ever so much. And guys, have no fear! This is a Yuffie and Vincent story, not a Reno and Yuffie story. Reno is purely here because I love him and I think he's a gorgeous beast, and he just wont stop writing himself in. I'm more Yuffentine than Reffie, got it? Doesn't mean I don't enjoy a bit of both though ;) Oh, and to celebrate the 1000 views, I _am_ writing a Yuffentine oneshot to begin my drabble folder of the pairing. Be on the lookout for it, yeah? Should be out soon...ish.  
Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish i owned this. Oh, all the things I could do... Hehehehhe  
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

"So, let me get this straight. Strife is just going to let you get away with it, on the grounds that you return his room back to normal, and do something to Vincent? He didn't even try to cut off an arm in exchange or anything?" He sounded so shocked it was funny, really. You know, it was nice of Reno to come and get me, even though I did kick him earlier today.

I never pictured him driving in a car; I just always associated him with helicopters and Turkey business, but I was wrong. I guess Reno kinda did suit sitting in a car, especially in one this nice. It was a sleek, black beast with the most incredibly comfy seats you could ever imagine.

I might have had more time to appreciate this though, if I wasn't trying my hardest to not puke or anything. I only nodded in reply, not trusting my mouth to speak words if I opened it. Oh, I knew all too well what would happen if I opened my mouth now.

Cue horrible motion sickness.

I had one hand clutching at my stomach, the other trying to settle my spinning head. I swear, when I find the smartass who decided giving me motion sickness would be a freakin' fabulous idea… they will never be able to walk again. Namely because they'll have my shuriken embedded in their face.

How that stops their legs from working I don't know, but I just like threats that sound cool.

Reno obviously noticed my distress, dropping his snarky façade.

"You good there?"

I smiled at him weakly, nodding slowly to not upset my head or stomach.

"Good, cause if you're gonna puke everywhere, you're gonna be the one who cleans it up. I'm not touchin' no puke, not even a princesses."

Aaaaand the façade was back. Stupid, snarky Turkey. I gave him the best glare I could muster at the time, twisting in the leather seat in an attempt to smear mud all over it. I could sense him glowering at me, but I didn't really want to look at him right now. Apparently, if you stare at something off in the distance it helps lessen motion sickness. Well, that's what some customer from Tifa's bar said, so why not give it a try? I mean, just because he was drunk and muttering about some bloodthirsty cactus didn't mean he was lying about this.

So, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and focus on the _lovely_ scenery that mother nature decided to grace us with on the enthralling journey from the ruins of Aerith's church to the dull city of Edge. Yeah, sense the sarcasm? I mean, _seriously!_ It was like a freaking desert! There was nothing but dust, dust, dust and you guessed it, more dust! There was the odd tree though, which was kinda nice. Otherwise, it was a pretty depressing scene.

Kinda like Vincent.

Ahh, good ol' Vinnie. Good, dependable, depressing Vincent.

I mean, come on, not even Cloud broods as much as he does! And I like to think of Cloud as a preeetty broody man. Well, he doesn't brood so much anymore, but still. When he did, it was like he was a black hole or something, sucking everything joyful and nice away from anything near him. Why the hell Teef puts up with him I'll never know. She must really love him.

Love.

What is love, anyway? I read a book once, and there was this perfect man in it that was going around saving everyone, and then there was this chick who was meant to be really hot and perfect and she got hurt and he saved her and fixed her all up and then they fell in love and saved the world together… Like a perfect version of Tifa and Cloud's little story, the version that was meant to happen. But that version didn't have a beautiful, sweet flower girl in it. It didn't have the hero as a messed up guy who had crazy hair and thought he was someone else, before he kinda realized who he was who then got some crazy ugly disease and nearly died a bajillion times. It didn't have terrorist organizations and a guy with a gun for an arm and a cussing pilot and an awesome ninja princess and a scary, broody cape-tacular vampire or a talking red animal or a robotic cat with a giant, overstuffed moogle. It didn't have the heroine as a brilliant fighter with scars, and it didn't have any crazy silver haired guys calling for their mother and a reunion to bring back the other creepy silver haired guy, and it didn't have a super disgusting alien hell-bent on killing things and whatnot.

It just had a bunch of crap about nothing before it got to heavily detailed make-out scenes, which didn't quite help me at all.

A while ago, I decided to go around and ask people what love was, to get a better view point on it. It didn't work, surprise surprise.

I tried to ask Cloud what love was, and he told me to go away. Which was totally understandable, I guess.

I didn't bother asking Vincent, since I pretty much knew his thoughts on love. And I didn't want him to strangle me with his shiny gauntlet.

I asked Nanaki, and he told me it was something magical. So I asked him if it was like materia, and he just chuckled at me.

I asked Tifa about it, and she told me that it was something special that could change your view on anything and everything and made you feel all funny when they were around and sometimes it hurt but sometimes it felt really wonderful and it meant the world to you. Then she went upstairs and didn't come back for a while.

I questioned Barret about it, and he laughed while ruffling my hair, and told me I would know when I felt it. Cid had the same response, except there were a _lot_ more swear words in it.

Reeve had actually gotten quite flustered, much to my amusement. He turned a few very interesting shades of red before spitting out some answer involving feelings and emotions, before pushing me out of his office.

None of these answers helped me, though. I already knew it was special and magical. Why didn't anyone have the right answer? The answer that would spell it out for me and give me a clear-cut definition?

A rough jolt shocked me out of my train of thinking, my stomach lurching in a very unpleasant manner. I looked at Reno, and he gave me a look of apology. Couldn't even drive smoothly…

"Hey Reno, what's love?"

I nearly killed myself when I accidently asked that question, a downside to having a mouth that ran off before your brain told it to stop. He looked at me with a surprised expression, before letting a small smile carve itself onto his features.

"Why ask me? Haven't you asked your gang yet?"

"Yeah, I asked them already. So, come on, what's the answer?" I was growing impatient now, momentarily forgetting that I couldn't move about the way I was with my motion sickness. A quick urge to hurl forced me to remember though, so I toned down the arm-flailing and such.

"Why does my answer matter? What about their answers?"

"Their answers sucked. Duh!" He smiled at my reply, before looking back at the road.

"I thought the 'Great Ninja' Yuffie Kisaragi could figure out anything?" Stupid Turkey! Bringing up things like that…

I scowled at him, resisting the urge to punch him as he smirked with self satisfaction.

"So, you really want to know?"

"… I asked, didn't I?"

"Do you really, _really_ want to know?" He was looking at me while he had that annoying voice that Denzel got when he was teasing Marlene, and I nearly ate him then and there to shut him up.

"Gawd, just tell me!" He smirked again, letting his eyes trail back to the road we were driving on. He ran a hand through his fiery locks, before placing it back on the wheel. It was a long, painful few seconds as I waited for him to answer, cursing him for his penchant concerning dramatic pauses. Dramatic pauses were only cool when I used them. Then they were cooler than cool. They were awesome.

"Well, princess, it's kinda like this..."


	7. Chapter 7

**I live! Yeeeeah, I kinda got absorbed into playing Final Fantasy 13 since my brother had purchased it, and then time kinda got away from me... and these chapters are getting harder to write each time! So, I'm not really satisfied with this... but... It'll do. I can't be bothered to improve it, and my head hurts. So take that, sense of pride! So anyway, school will be starting again next week, so updates may or may not be less frequent. Also, considering I've just started a Yuffentine drabble/oneshot folder -That only one person has reviewed... :'( - and I keep getting stuck with this, that may factor into it too. Anywho; enjoy this chapter; and review! I luuuurve all my reviewers :) You guys & your reviews keep me going; specially you guys who are so shocked/horrified at what I do, and who predict what's going to happen. It makes me smile :)  
Disclaimer: If I owned any of this/ was making profit out of it; I would get the 'o' button on my keyboard fixed. Copying & pasting it every freakin' time gets pretty lame.  
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

He sat there for a moment, probably trying to think of an answer. His left hand abandoned the wheel and ran through his bright hair again, before he put it back down. The streets of Edge were rapidly approaching, and Reno still hadn't answered me. I glanced over at him, and it looked like he was having an inner debate.

"It's like…" He trailed off gently, being very un-Turk like. His smirk had vanished from his face, a soft look there instead. Who knew that he could even pull a look like that? I was fairly sure it was always _smirk smirk smirk_ from him. And maybe a glare or two in there, but other than that, his facial expressions didn't really vary much.

I sat there looking at him expectantly, fidgeting with the edge of my shirt. He slowly pulled the car to a stop, before stepping out and motioning for me to follow him. Curiously, I jumped in a very ninja-like manner out of the car, skipping behind Reno as he trudged over to a fairly large area full of people. It took me a minute to realize we we're actually at the place that the freakin' huge Bahamut thing had attacked, but I didn't say anything.

We ducked through the rain and through large crowds of people hurrying to get out of the weathers way as we made our way to a sheltered area. He leant against the wall of some store, pulling my arm so I was leaning next to him. His eyes scanned the crowd quickly, before he smirked and pointed his finger towards a group of teenagers.

"See that?" He asked, putting his arm back down. "See them kid's there? That's love."

I used my super awesome ninja vision to try and see what he was looking at, only to get an eyeful of two teenage kids standing in the rain, the boy trying to give the girl his jacket, but she was shaking her head profusely. The jacket was drenched now, but neither of them seemed to care. Suddenly, the boy dropped the jacket and gave her a hug, dragging her under a nearby awning.

I shook my head in amusement. The girl shoulda taken the jacket and run! But nooooo.

"That's not love," I scoffed at him, shaking my head again. "That's just a stupid argument they had over a jacket. So what?"

Reno rolled his eyes at me, letting out a small sigh.

"You didn't hear what they were saying, did you?"

"Well, no." Obviously. "Sorry I don't have super bat hearing like you do!"

"Gee princess, no need to apologize. I was just under the impression that you would know how to lip read."

Yeah yeah, rave on Turkey!

"S'if I'd know how to do that, I have better things to do with my time!" Actually, since he mentioned it, I probably should have gotten lessons in lip reading. Gawd, the things I could do! Nyuk nyuk nyuk…

Mental note: Learn how to lip read. Then, naturally, use it to blackmail the crap outta everyone!

Or… something along those lines. You know, ninja business.

"Whatever you say, brat. How about over there?" He pointed towards some kids around Marlene's age running around, throwing globs of mud at each other. All the adults hurrying past them sent disapproving glances their way, before moving quicker to avoid being hit. I had the sudden urge to go join them, because in all honestly – it looked like it would be the most freakin' fun _ever. _

I forgot about that though when I suddenly remembered why I was looking at them; turning my head to the side to argue with Reno. That didn't look like love; they were just chucking huge hunks o' mud at each other's faces. I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off before I could even get a word out. Stupid Turkey.

"How about over there?" He jerked his head towards two old people walking slowly under the awnings of a café, the old man plucking a flower from a nearby pot plant, handing it to the woman who looked like she was giggling from his actions. I smiled a little at that; it was kinda sweet… but… ew. Old people love. Not my kind of thing.

"Or, say, how about there?" He pointed over towards a young boy who was handing a girl half of his cookie, both of them blushing furiously. Now _that_ was cute. But was it love? Heck, I had no idea. I guess it was, in a weird way. Seemed like love was everywhere, and everyone was getting a piece of it. So where the hell was all my love at?

"Okay, okay, I get it," I relented, raising my hands in a 'Stop, don't you come any further or I'll eat your liver!' kinda way, ignoring the smirk he sent me. "Loves everywhere, yadda yadda yadda," I waved him off, trying not to hide my surprise. Reno's explanation was actually the best one yet – but it still didn't answer all my questions, so I guess it still sucked. "You know what? I think your answer was the least suckiest one."

"Well now, I guess I'll take that compliment with a smile, princess. Nice to know you can spare praise for us lesser beings," he teased in his ever-so-cool voice, grabbing my hand. Uh oh!

"Reno…" I warned him, trying to wrench my hand from his iron grip. Stupid, iron-handed Turkey.

The next thing I knew, his face was right up in mine and I did the first thing I always did when someone gets way too close to me for my liking – punch em' and run!

"Yuffie!" He called after me, but I didn't stop. I was shaking with surprise; running for some unexplainable reason – considering I had just pretty much run a bajillion miles earlier – and I didn't stop until I got to the bar. I ran inside, and the first thing I saw was that brilliant flash of red.

Oh, it was the cape! Sweet, trustworthy, ever-so-glorious cape!

Delirious with whatever the hell was wrong with me, I body slammed the cape – obviously body slamming the person who was wearing the cape – knocking us both to the floor.

"Sanctuary! I call sanctuary!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, jumping up off the ground. I had heard some creepy guy in some movie yell that when he ran into some building and it stopped people from barging in and attacking him or whatever, so it should work for me. Right?

"Yuffie?" I jumped for a moment, looking around the room I was in, suddenly realizing there was more than just a caped crusader there. Chocobo head was in the middle of the room, standing next to a huge chunk of something or other.

"Well, that's a funny place to put a piano," I babbled, before promptly falling onto the floor again.


	8. Chapter 8

**I LIVE! ... Moving on, here's glorious chapter 8! It's a tad late sorry, life decided to attack me in the cruelest of ways, unsurprisingly in the form of school... urghh. It's back to weekly updates for you, dear people! Anyway, only 5 reviews guys? Really? I know I have more than 19 people on alerts, darn you all! I can see you all lurking out there! But it's all good, you don't have to review... it just makes me sad when you don't... is my guilt trip working? Ha! Anyway, I put a ton of effort in with this chapter, and I'm still not happy with it. At all. But I really can't be bothered changing it, I've already written it so it's staying... so... nyahh!  
Disclaimer: If I owned this, my laptop keyboard would function properly. Sadly, I have now lost the function of the comma and 'f' button. R.I.P, dear friends.  
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Gawd, if there was one thing I hated in the world, it would be headaches. Seriously. They can go jump for all I care. It didn't really help that everyone else was yelling either; all I wanted them to do was shut up! Couldn't they see they were messing with my aching head?

"Guys, shut the hell up before I steal all your materia!" I screeched as loud as I could, wincing as it messed with my pounding head. I opened my eyes and immediately squeezed them shut again, the bright lights of the room attacking them. Stupid lights.

"Yuffie?" A chorus of three voices all spoke in unison, making me wince again. I slowly opened my eyes this time, letting them adjust to the absurd brightness of the room. I immediately saw a flash of red, smiling as I realized Vincent and his swishalicious cape was there.

"It's like I've gone bullfighting," I sighed dreamily, remembering that time I watched this show on the television with some guy wearing crazy-ass clothes waving this huuuuuuge red cloth. I always wondered how good Vincent would be at something like that, waving his cape around. I giggled at the thought, ignoring the look Tifa gave me.

"She's delirious," Tifa murmured, placing a hand on my forehead.

"Gawd Tifa, I'm fine!" I snapped, not in the mood for incessant mothering. Another day, sure, but right now I needed…

"OH MY GAWD TIFA, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW!" I abruptly yelled, wrenching myself upright, ignoring the dizziness in my head. I had no time for dizziness, this was an emergency!"

"Shh! You're talking to me now," she smiled gently, Cloud snickering behind her as she pushed me back down on the bed. I glared at Cloud, before looking over at Vincent. He looked as stoic as ever, except he had a slight frown on his face.

"I made you frown Vinnie!" I pointed at him laughing like a maniac. Maybe I was delirious. He just went 'hn' in reply, his gaze never leaving mine, which promptly reminded me…

"No, Tifa, I need to speak to you NOW!" I stated firmly, noticing the small glance Cloud sent her.

"Well then, speak to me Yuffie," she was probably laughing inwardly at me and I smacked my hand into my forehead.

"Alone," I ordered, glaring at Cloud and Vincent. Cloud squeezed Tifa's arm as he left and I narrowed my eyes at that. What was going on there? My thoughts were completely replaced though, as I noticed Vincent hadn't left yet.

"Yeeeah… Vinnster, when I say I want alone time with Teef, it usually means… you know… alone. Like, as in no one else there. As in just me and her." He remained as impassive as always, folding his arms across his chest as he stared at me. I glared back, imagining lasers shooting out of my eyes.

It worked, surprisingly. Vinnie calmly looked away from me, before standing up and stalking out of the room. There really was no other way to describe it, he just stalks naturally. Stalking stalker…

Anyway, he left the room and I instantly launched into my super awesome tale of my day's happenings, while Tifa just listened, nodding her head when appropriate, and gasping when called for. Thank gawd she was such a good listener!

"I see," she murmured quietly, after I had finished explaining to her. "That would explain why Reno came by earlier asking to speak to you."

"He did WHAT?" I burst out suddenly, clenching the bed sheets with frustration. Why? WHY?

"Quiet down, Yuffie! Marlene is sleeping! He just wanted to talk to you anyway," she scolded, smiling at me. Stupid smiling.

"Well I don't wanna talk to him!" I muttered, even though it was childish… but hey, I'm allowed to be childish! It's _me_ we're talking about!

"I've gathered that. Vincent kicked him out anyway. You have nothing to worry about, really," she reassured me, giving me a pat on the arm, pulling back as crusted bits of mud smeared all over her hand. "Ugh… Yuffie, I really think you need a shower," her nose wrinkled in distaste, before she quickly rubbed her hand on her shorts to clean it. "There's so much mud on you it's amazing," she murmured, slipping out of the room quietly.

"It's a healthy coating of earth, dammit!" I yelled after her, wrenching the bed sheets off me. I showered as quickly as I could, haphazardly brushing my already nearly-dry hair before wriggling into my awesome clothes.

As I waddled out the door, I decided against being overly energetic since it felt like I had been run over by an incredibly fat chocobo… by the name of Cloud, nyuk nyuk nyuk! But back to seriousness, it hurt like a hammer hit my head multiple times, before deciding to go hit the rest of me. Stupid hammers.

Note to self: destroy all hammers.

Stiffly climbing down the stairs, I felt Vinnie's eyes watching me but I didn't really care, even though my heart started pounding like crazy. Thank gawd he couldn't hear it though! That would have been embarrassing…

Anyway, I pulled on my mask of charm and good-ness, seating myself on the stool next to him.

"Hey Vin-Vins, whatcha up to?"

"…Nothing. How are you?" Gee, broody as ever. Maybe his name should be broody now. Broody McBroodster… also known as Captain Uptight.

"Naw, aren't you all sweet, worrying for my well-being!" I chuckled, grinning as he glared at me. Oh, how those glares made me smile…

"Yuffie, you were unconscious for 11 hours."

Gawd, with the way he was saying it, it sounded like I had died! But… what if I was dead? Did that mean he could talk to dead people? Well, he did have all those demons in his head… maybe they taught him a thing or two about talking to dead things?

Sounds reasonable.

I poked him to test my theory, but I didn't magically go through him or anything, sadly. He just glared at me. Again. Why was I not surprised?

"… So what's the time now then?"

"3 am."

"WHAT?" He looked at me with a strange expression on his face, before gesturing to the window. I looked outside and I realized it was pitch black. Huh, that was pretty nifty. I looked back over to him, tiredness suddenly creeping up on me. Seriously, tiredness is the best sneaker-upperer ever! You can be fine one second, then BAM! You're suddenly falling asleep in the middle of a tree surrounded by millions of renegade monsters!

Err… not that that's ever happened to me or anything. Moving on.

"Aunt Yuffie…?" I swirled around on my stool, spotting a sleepy Marlene rubbing her eyes, a small stuffed animal clutched in her left hand. "Where's Tifa and Cloud?" Huh, good question, little Marl. I hadn't seen them since they walked outta the room.

"They're sleeping," Vincent said in his broody voice, also explaining the question I forgot to ask out loud. Of course he'd be able to answer my psychic question. He probably feeds of my brainwaves! Yeah, I can just imagine it now. (_Omnomnom. My my, Yuffie, what delectable brainwaves you have today!)_

Ha, I made mind-Vince say delectable!

Marlene made her way over to us, sleepily stumbling over imaginary rocks. She finally stumbled up to Vinnie and me, launching herself at his cape. My eyes practically fell out of my head when I saw her wrap herself in it. How come she can do that, and I can't? Why is life so cruel? Why?

Vincent didn't even bat an eyelid at this; he took it in stride… which told me the little girl had done this before. Immediately, I grew interested. Of course. Why was he letting her touch it? Why couldn't I? WHAT KIND OF VAMPIRE IS HE? I mean, he broods all day, and drinks his boring red wine and sleeps in coffins in dingy manor places and has a super-awesome gun and wears that stupid red cape and has stupid pointy clown shoes with a freakin' metal gauntlet!

He wasn't a very good vampire. What kind of vampire's weakness is the puppy dog look from a young girl? Seriously, a proper vampire would just suck her blood! He probably had some kind of weird-devil bond with her. Gah, why doesn't he have a weird-devil bond with me? He just has a… glare bond with me… or something like that.

"I had a bad dream," she whispered quietly, ducking her head further under the cape. I saw cruddy-vampire's eyes soften, but he didn't say anything. Stupid Vince. Didn't he know that he was meant to sooth little 7 year olds who had nightmares?

"It's alright Mar, it was just a dream. It wasn't real," I said gently, jumping off the stool and crouching next to her. She looked up at me with a slightly sad expression, giving me a hug.

Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Since Marlene was hugging me while wrapped up in Broodsters ratty cape, I was pretty much hugging the cape! It felt unbelievably _soft, _and I discretely ran my fingers along it to memorize the texture. Tomorrow, I was _so_ finding a copy of this material. Why, I hear you ask?

Well, that's a secret!

Which I will take to my grave.

Or not, since I don't plan on dying before my plan can get into action.

Anyway, Marlene seemed to have gotten over her little nightmare somewhat, as she pulled away from me with a small smile.

"Can you stay with me tonight aunt Yuffie? I don't wanna have another bad dream again," she grimaced slightly, clutching onto my hand with the biggest kicked-puppy look ever. Seriously. I think she mighta learnt that one from me…

"Sure thing Marlene. Just let me say goodnight to Vincent." She nodded, before clamoring back up the stairs to her room. I turned back towards Vince, giving him a mock salute. "G'night, Captain Funtastic. If I don't see you tomorrow I'll see you in the next life."

He nodded like he understood what I was saying, watching me as I walked away. Just as I got my foot on the first step, he called out my name in his silky smooth voice, causing my heart to beat super fast… gah, why did he do that to me?

Aw shucks, that sounds kinda mushy. But his voice really _did_ sound nice, kinda soft and velvety like his cape.

Anyway, I turned back around to face him, expecting his usual glare or something but his expression was actually one of worry.

"Be careful," he warned quietly, before taking another sip of his ridiculously boring drink. I resisted the urge to poke my tongue out at him, instead settling for flashing him a grin the size of Midgar. Y'know, back before it got destroyed and all.

"Am I ever anything but?" I said sweetly, grinning _wider_ as his eyes narrowed.

"I'm serious, Yuffie."

No kidding. It's not like you ever tell a joke or anything, you pessimistic jerk!

Ah hum, carrying on.

"Yeah yeah, look both ways before you cross the road, yadda yadda," I waved him off, before skipping up the stairs.

Entering Marlene and Denzels room, I was a tad surprised to see Denzel missing.

"Wheres Denny?" I whispered to the small girl swamped by masses of blanket.

"He's staying with a friend tonight," she whispered back, before shuffling to the side in an attempt to make more room for me.

I tutted at the small space she had made. That was not sufficient space for Yuffie Kisaragi, Ninja Princess Extraordinaire! With the brilliancy only I posses, I pushed Denzel's bed over to Marlene's, connecting them together to make a double bed. Genius.

Satisfied with my work, I wriggled under my covers as Marlene snuggled into my side. I wrapped a small arm over her shoulders, remembering how my mother used to do that when I had a bad dream. It always made me feel better, so it should work for her.

She looked up at me expectantly, as I stared back down at her in confusion. What did she want from me?

"Tifa usually plays games with me when I have bad dream's, 'cause they help me fall asleep quicker," she explained, digging further into my side.

"Ohh, okie dokes! Whatcha wanna play?"

I spent the next few years – or maybe they were minutes, I dunno, playing an assortment of spelling games before a sudden thought struck me.

Why the hell was I awake at 3 in the morning playing spelling games?


	9. Chapter 9

**Howdy one and all, welcome to chapter 9! How have you all been? Well, I hope. Anyway, thank you all a billion for the 19 faves and 26 alerts. Welcome to the awesome ride that is my story, all you newcomers! I was quite happy with the reviews for the last chapter- I think I got 7. Wanna aim for more though? I know I do ;) Anyway; I was writing this today, and when I got hit in the head with a plastic toy, I had a brilliant idea. I'm going to add an underlying plot to this, other than mindless cape stealing! Kinda. So it's gonna become a tad more complicated - and a tad more awesomer!... I hope. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and I would enjoy it if you all reviewed with all thoughts/critisicm/ideas/what-ever-the-hell-you-_wanna_-say. That would make me quite happy, I feel.  
Disclaimer: I don't see the point in writing a disclaimer. I mean, we all _know_ I don't own Final Fantasy 7 or anything affiliated with it, that I'm not making any profit or such from it, and it's all fair use and fun and rahrahrah as far as I am aware. Hell, If I got anything from this I sure as hell wouldn't be here, I'd be living it up on mars. Probably.  
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you have any idea where the heck I should take this - feel free to tell me. I'd gladly take your input, and try incorporate it somehow. I may be the one writing this, but you're the one enjoying it!  
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I woke up that morning with a bang, quite literally. Of course, no one as awesome as me can wake up ordinarily! Anyway, just as I was sleeping peacefully and having a nice dream of a certain caped man – I got kicked in the head and fell off the bed, with a reasonably loud **THUMP **accompanying me.

Yeah, way to go Yuffie. Totally showed your ninja skills then, didn't ya!

So, since I didn't quite remember the events of last night, I jumped up with super-awesome-ninja speed, and promptly attacked the figure standing in the doorway. Why the hell I went for the person near the doorway and not person in the bed who kicked me is beyond me, but whatevs.

Anyway, it took me a good few seconds to realize who I was attacking, namely because it took me a while to notice the gun they had unholstered and shoved in my face. Yeah, he's a real charmer. He sure knows how to treat the ladies.

"Well well, Vinnsters, hello to you too. I love getting an eyeful of your gun so early in the morning," I winked at him, surprised when his cheeks started to redden a bit. I had made him blush! Oh, this was too good.

He tried to hide behind his cape's collar, but my eyes were too sharp to have missed what I had seen. "Well now, did I just make a vampire blush? I thought that was impossible," I teased, poking my tongue out for effect. What effect, I don't know. His hand twitched ever so slightly towards his gun he had put away, and I grinned at the idea that he wanted to shoot me. He so wouldn't do it. He'd miss me too much. In fact, I told him so.

"Aw, come on Vinnie, you know you can't shoot me. You'd miss me too much."

"I'd like to disagree."

Yeah you would, wouldn't you! He got this far off look in his eyes; the kind he gets when he thinks about that Lucrecia lady. Yeah, well, sorry Vince, but ol' 'Cresies gone and popsicled herself!

I didn't tell him that, though. Because I'm such a nice and caring person... who wanted to live.

"Pfft, I'm your sexy ray of sunshine! You'd miss me if I carked it!"

He looked at me like I was nuts, then muttered something about breakfast and swished out of the room. Stupid, ridiculous, swishy man. Anyway, I soon swished after him after I tucked Marlene back into bed the right way. Even though she kicked me in the head – because she managed to turn herself around in her bed so she was upside down - I still loved the little girl. She was like a mini-Tifa. It was adorable.

I considered getting one at a certain stage of my life, namely last month, because honestly, who wouldn't want a mini-Yuffie? When I asked that, however, Cid just laughed like a maniac before choking on his cigarette, then proclaimed something about not needing another brat stealing his things and whatnot. Stupid old man.

Anyway, I gracefully descended the stairs to the kitchen, appreciating the smell of Tifa's cooking. I quickly seated myself on a chair opposite Cloud, surprised that he wasn't glaring at me. Why wasn't anyone glaring at me this morning? It was kinda unnerving, to be honest. You know when no one's glaring at Yuffie that something's up.

"Mornin' Cloud."

"Mornning, Yuffie."

Oh. Dear. Gawd. There was no glare, no suspicion, just a SMILE and a good morning! This was reason to panic. So, panic I did.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH CLOUD?" I screeched, jumping up on my chair and pointing at him. He just looked at me like I was insane, before shaking his head. Since when was Cloud pleasant? WHEN?

"Is there something wrong, Yuffie?" Vincent chose that moment to walk in, giving me a slightly weird look when he saw my position on the chair. I slowly gathered my dignity, straightened my clothes and sat back down on the chair like a normal person.

Pfft, normal person.

"No, not at all. I was just wondering why the HELL Cloud's being all weird!" Y'know, it's times like these that I wonder why my voice box hasn't broken yet. The amount of times I scream/yell/screech/declare things is amazingly frequent.

"Cloud is Cloud," Tifa's voice drifted across the room as she sat down some plates at the table, before giving him a smile, which he returned. I sat there in shock as she handed the food out, wondering when the hell he started all this smiling business! As I was slowly eating my amazingly tasty breakfast, it hit me.

"OH MY GAWD! YOU TWO WEREN'T SLEEPING LAST NIGHT!" I yelled, pointing accusatory fingers at both of them, looking on with horror as they choked on their food.

"Yuff-"

"Yuffie?" We all turned at the sound of the voice, spotting a chirpy Marlene jumping down the stairs. "Thank you… for staying with me last night," she said quietly, bowing her head a bit. Aww, she was just so darn cute! I pulled the end of her hair gently, before getting up off my seat so Marlene could sit down.

"Well, farewell one and all. I shall see you all sometime in the near future, if not by 6pm today. Carry on," I waved my hand as a goodbye gesture, grinning as neither Cloud nor Tifa looked me in the eye…. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

I left the bar with a wide grin and a pocket full of lovely gil, heading for the nearest material store. You see, last night when I had the chance to stroke Vinnie's cape (gawd, that sounds so creepy…), I had the brilliant idea of making my own special cape, just like his! Then I could dress up as Vinsters and scare the village folks, so on so forth. Edge was boring, anyway. Waaaaaay boring. There was too much steel and heartlessness for me to enjoy a place like this, so I needed to amuse myself, and what better way than playing dress up?

I giggled to myself as I walked down the crowded street, earning a few weird looks but it didn't bother me. I entered the store relatively quietly – I didn't feel the need to announce my presence or anything of the sort. I simply skipped around the room, testing all the materials they had to see if they matched our Cape Crusaders. Sadly, not one of them did. Damn unobtainable material….

Just as I was about to whip out my fire materia and burn everything to the ground, a nerdy looking sales assistance approached me hesitantly. Smart, smart girl.

"M-may I h-h-help y-you?" I gave her a large grin to calm her down, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Kinda like with the clerk at the hardware store. Huh.

"Why yes, yes you can!" I exclaimed brightly, chuckling as her face dropped with disappointment. It seemed she had wanted me to say no. Well, Yuffie Kisaragi never says no!

Well, that's a lie. But still.

"I'm looking for a certain material… y'know, like, velvety but not velvety, kiiiinda thickish, and super soft?" The lady looked at me weirdly, before asking me to follow her. She led me over to this room I hadn't noticed before, picking up a huge bundle of pink.

"Is t-this to your lik-k-king, Ma'am?" I observed the huge bundle, slowly running my hand through it. It felt kinda like Vince's, it just didn't have that extra… caterpillar-ness to it.

"Why yes, thank you… Sarah," I squinted at her nametag, taking the big bundle out of her hands. She pushed her glasses back up to her eyes, before scuffling out of the room. I scuffled just as quickly behind her, reaching the cashier in scuffle-breaking time.

"That'll be… 100gil," she smiled nervously, pushing her glasses back up again. I pulled out the bag of gil I had stolen from Cloud earlier, emptying its contents onto the desk. I didn't know how much was there, but it would be enough, surely. I folded the huge blob of material into a nice square, before bouncing to the exit.

"Keep the change," I smiled back at her, exiting the store as quickly as I could.

"Miss, you're 23gil short!" She yelled after me, which only made me break out into a run.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you! I'm moving too fast!" I yelled back at her, hiding in the huge crowd of people. When I was sure she had gone back into the store, I bounced up again before knocking heads with someone.

"Gee Princess, bit of a thick skull you've got there."

Gawd dammit!

"Reno! What a surprise!" I squeaked, scuttling away from him as quickly as I could.

"Hey, now! I just want to speak to you, all right?" He grinned at me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I… I can't! I'm busy!" Why couldn't I stop squeaking? I must've turned into a mouse overnight. Maybe that's why I was craving cheese.

"Really?" He smirked when he saw the pink material in my arms, before flashing his eyes back up to mine. "Looks to me like you're planning on causin' a bit of trouble."

"And why would you care, Turkey?" I growled at him, shoving him outta my way. Great. It seemed I had morphed from a mouse into a lion. Eh, at least I had pointy teeth now.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Valentine, would it?" He asked pleasantly, walking quickly to catch up with me. Damn Turkey.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with being you're business now, would it?" I imitated him, smirking as he frowned at me.

"Just making conversation."

"Well, don't," I glared at him, before ducking through the crowd as fast as I could. He didn't bother chasing me this time, and for that I was glad. I really didn't feel like dealing with him and his antics right now.

Away from the bustling crowds of people, I pulled out the pair of scissors I sto-… _borrowed_ from the material store and started work on my cape. I cut off a small strip from the bottom and tied it around my head like his headband, then proceeded to tear at the bottom of the cape, to make it all tatter-y like his.

Satisfied with my work, I tied it around my shoulders with a couple of 'safety' pins I found at the bar, but to be honest, I don't see what's so safe about them. They're just stupid little things that spike your fingers and hurt like a freakin' shuriken to the face!

And no, I'm not over exaggerating… much.

I looked in a nearby puddle to see my awesome reflection, and grinned when I saw my own makeshift cape. Sure, it was the wrong colour and it didn't have a collar as giant as his and it didn't make me look scary, but all in all, I looked like a cooler version than Vinnie, but my transformation wasn't complete yet.

I happily skipped down the street until I found the novelty store, quickly stealing a pair of plastic vampire fangs. They were pretty awesome, sept… y'know… every time I talked it sounded like I had a lisp. But I soon perfected the way of talking with a huge chunk of plastic in your mouth, and I sounded like a normal person once again. Just as I was a few houses away from the bar though, I realized I was missing one thing. Sprinting down to the hardware store again, I catapulted straight through the doors and up to the counter, grinning when I realized I had the same clerk as last time. He looked surprised to see me, to say the least. His eyes widened and he gasped rather loudly, but I had no time to observe others reactions! I needed paint, and quickly!

"A bucket of your finest gold paint, my good sir!" I exclaimed cheerily, unable to stand still as he backed away to the paint storage room, I'm guessing. He returned quickly with a middle sized bucket, placing it on the counter.

"That'll be 130gil miss."

Yeeah… about that…

"Hold on a moment, I just need to- yoink!" I grabbed the can of paint, and for the second time that day, I fled a store with a salesperson angrily yelling at me to return.

Ahh, I just love being a ninja.

Anyway, when I got to my safety point (around the corner), I pried off the lid and surveyed the colour. It was a nice gold, but not like Vinnie's claw… but it was close enough.

I dunked my arm into the paint, swishing it around for a bit because it felt really funny. Then, after I swished it around for a little longer, I pulled it out and let it dry. It only took about 15 minutes, and then I was off racing again.

I hid under a window looking into the bar, looking for any signs of human activity. Surprisingly, the whole gang was there, and a few of the Turks as well, gawd knows why though…

_Excellent._

I sat there for a moment and pondered how I should enter. I pulled out the toy water gun I was going to use as my version of Vince's gun, twirling it around as I thought. Trying to suppress a huge grin, I put on my 'brooding' face before leaping through the window.

For some reason, I thought it was open. Yeeahh… another great mistake by me! Glass went everywhere, causing Barret and Cid to curse like drunken sailors. I took it all in stride though, standing up as straight as I could while pointing my gun at everyone and spraying them with water.

For some reason, no one got outraged! They all just looked at me with weird expressions on their faces, before Cid finally opened his mouth.

"Well, about time the brat showed. Have a goddamn seat will ya, and quit prancin' round like an idiot."

What. The. Hell.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay. okayokayokay. Okay. So, while I was trying to think of some awesome plot thing to use, I got fustrated and went for the whole thing you'll soon learn in this chapter. Don't hate me for going obvious, yeah? I couldn't help it. Seriously. Anywho, I got really angry with this chapter, it just would NOT come out the way I wanted, and I've given up. This'll have to do, then next chapter I'll go to town on it and it'll be rad. Sound good? Anyway, I don't really have much to say, just that... thanks for the trillions of reviews, I'm happy with the 8 I got. It made me happy :)  
Disclaimer: What's the chances of a mere human like me owning Final Fantasy 7? I may own my own playstation, heater and lamp, but I do not own Final Fantasy 7. But if I could trade those three things for it, I probably wouldn't. I'd be dead without them. Quite literally.  
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

"So, someone wanna tell me what's going on? And why the Turks are here?" I mean, honestly, I try to ambush them dressed like Vincent and they tell me to sit down without getting cranky at me, even though I busted the front window? Something weird was going on.

"Well, Yuffie… you see…" Gawd, Cloud really was unable to form a full coherent sentence. Poor, poor, speech impaired man. I should give him talking lessons.

"Who appointed Spike as team speaker?" I growled, crossing my arms across my chest angrily. Why the hell weren't they telling me anything?

"Well brat, 'parently Tifa here got a call jus' after you left this mornin' or somethin' like that," Barret said gruffly, looking over at Tifa. Tifa stepped forward now, looking grim. What was this, a funeral?

"I received a call from Godo, Yuffie. He was very adamant that he found out where you were." I gaped up at her in surprise. My old man was concerned of my whereabouts? That was a first.

"So? Why should that bother me? Just cause my old man's finally paying attention to me doesn't mean nothing!" I practically yelled, jumping up off my chair. I was always uncomfortable talking about my family with people, and now was no exception.

"Because, Yuffie, he said he had arranged a… suitor for you. To marry."

"He did WHAT?" I screeched, balling my fists. How could he do that to me? After everything I did for him - him and Wutai! I risked my absurdly gorgeous neck for them thousands of times!

"Yuffie, calm down," Vincent spoke up, walking towards me. Damn Vinnie- he wasn't the one being married to some random, probably old and disgusting man!

"No, I will NOT calm down Vincent! Do you know what this means? I'm going to have to marry some creep and be a freakin' empress and push out a truckload of kids!" I all but yelled at him, and he didn't even flinch. He just stood there and took it, his eyes unblinking. Now that I think about it, it wasn't really fair of me to take it out on him… but hey, he told me to calm down when I was chucking a fit!

"Yuffi-"

"Shut it, Cid! I- I'm not ready for this! He can't make me!" I was tired of yelling now, my throat starting to hurt a tad. Damn, unreliable throat! Why can't you keep up your brilliant yelling power? Why?

"Yuffie, Godo said if you weren't in Wutai in the next two days, he was going to send someone to come get you," Cloud spoke up, and I stood there for a moment, totally transfixed by the fact that he had strung together more than 4 words into a sentence that didn't involve something brood-worthy or some kind of pausing. Then my brain came back from its holiday on the sun, and I resumed my angry yelling.

"So? Why does that matter? I can hide. It shouldn't be too hard. Then Godo will give up and I'll be free!" A brilliant plan, if I do say so myself! No one's better at hiding than a ninja, much less the greatest ninja ever!

"You can't hide forever," Cid grumbled, chewing on his cigarette nervously.

"Wanna bet, old man? Just cause you'd bust a hip if you tried doesn't mean anything!" I glared at him. "I'm a ninja, remember? We're trained to hide and stuff. It'll be fun," I grinned half-heartedly, sitting back down on the chair. I honestly had no idea what to do.

Everyone stood/sat in silence for a moment, letting me gather my thoughts. So far, my brain came up with 5 major issues.

1. I was going to have to return to Wutai, and be the 'perfect' lady so I don't embarrass my husband, or something as equally as stupid.

2. Said husband is most likely going to be a gross, crotchety old man with nasal issues.

3. I had gone to all the effort of getting my _fabulous _outfit put together, and no one cared. Which sucked.

4. I was going to have to get married. _MARRIED_ !

5. If I went ahead with my hiding plan, that was the equivalent of ditching my country and heritage, with major dishonorable consequences and such.

Thing is, I do love Wutai. Really. And while I did maybe want to be empress one day, I knew that I didn't want to be it now. I didn't want to be tied down in some loveless political marriage just to please my father and the council, I just wanted to live a normal life like a person my age would. Well, normal for me at least. And my normal does _not_ involve getting married to crusty old men and the likes.

I raised my head after reflecting on the possible courses of action I could take, observing what my friends thought of the matter.

They all had different expressions on their faces – anger, sadness, pity, thoughtfulness (well, as thoughtful as Cid's expression could get), with a hint of impassiveness from the broodster who had retired to his usual corner. At least some things never change, I guess.

"I guess you could actually go into hiding," Cid said out loud, after careful consideration probably. He didn't want to end up with the same response Vinnie got from me earlier. I stared up at him, wondering why he was agreeing with my plan.

"Well duh," I snorted, folding my arms across my chest. "Just… I wanna talk to my old man first, kay?" I requested, pulling at the edge of my shorts. I don't know why I was nervous, really. Unless Godo magically attained the power of killing me through the phone, I think I was pretty safe.

Tifa nodded and handed me her phone, so I stomped my way up the stairs and slammed the door for good measure. I heard some kind of ruckus forming downstairs, but I didn't pay any attention to it. I slowly dialed his number, every press feeling like doom. And no, I wasn't being over-dramatic. Much.

It rang a couple of times, and I was getting pretty antsy. But just as I decided I should chuck it out the window, I heard his wheezy old voice answer.

"Godo Kisaragi, Lord of Wutai speaking."

"Gee old man, no need to be subtle about it, huh?" Yep, that was Godo alright. Just announce it to everyone he speaks to and all that. Kinda like me… but still.

"Yuffie? What a pleasure it is to speak to you! Have you been keeping well?"

"As well as a well. So, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I am NOT getting married!" Yeah, I'm not really one to beat around the bush.

"But Yuffie, you've never even met the man! He's smart, royal, wealthy and quite charismatic. I have no qualms about how you two will get along."

"I don't WANT to meet him, Godo. I'm not getting married, not to some stranger and CERTAINLY not because you want me to." Ha, stupid old geezer, thinking he could marry me to some nutcase. I, Yuffie Kisaragi, would never marry! Well, at least, not to cranky old guys. I prefer vampires in capes.

"Yuffie Kisaragi, you are my daughter and you will do as I obey! You cannot go around de-"

"Like hell I will! I'm not gonna end up like my mother!"

Yeah, that shut him up. Shut him up good! He choked over his words for a few seconds, obviously upset because I brought up my mother. He always gets touchy about that subject, but hey, I wasn't gonna put up with his crap! He recovered quickly though, his voice going the loudest I'd ever heard it.

"You **will **be in Wutai by tonight, or I will send Staniv to get you! You have forced my hand, Yuffie. This could have been pleasurable, but you're obviously as stubborn as ever. Don't think you can avoid this, it is your birth right!" Then he had the nerve to hang up on me – _me!_ – and left me staring at the phone with an odd feeling.

I had the overwhelming sensation of wanting to cry, but I wouldn't. Not because of him. He wasn't worthy of my tears, only a select few were. I sank onto the floor and sat there for a few moments, before I started yelling every curse word I knew at an imaginary Godo (thank gawd I knew Cid. If it wasn't for him, I sure as hell wouldn't be as impressive as I was now. Must remember to thank him). After I got all of it out of my system, I pulled myself up off the floor and dusted myself off, suddenly on edge as I noticed there were no noises from downstairs anymore.

I sighed dramatically before pulling a wide grin on my face, jumping up and down to pump myself up. I don't know why I needed to do that, but hey, I was in a pretty crappy mood. Jumping always makes me feel better.

I thrust the door open and jumped down the stairs, colliding with a hard object. I pulled back, realizing I had bumped into Vincent. He looked at me with a weird look in his eyes, but I ignored it. I wasn't in the mood to deal with a moody Vince. He'd probably go all teenage boy on me and start crying about how the girl at school doesn't notice him or his glorious hair, or something equally as stupid.

Well, at least I'd like to think he would. That would be funny.

"Are you okay? I heard your conversation," he said softly in a very un-Vincent-y manner, grabbing my arm softly. Since when did Vinnie initiate contact? With my arm, of all places? I'd much rather his lips on mine, but hey, I'm not too picky. Usually.

_Oh._ So that's what the look in his eyes was… concern.

Aww, wasn't that just sweet. He was concerned about me! Little Vinsters did care about me!

"Fine and dandy," I grinned even wider, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. Since when did he become so wise to my antics?

"Yuffi-"

"Not now, Vince," I interrupted him, pushing my way past him to get to where the others were gathered. We needed a plan. Fast. Or else I was gunna be Misses Yuffie Crusty-Old-Man. And that was one thing I did _not _wanna be.

"Change of plan, losers!" I announced loudly, bouncing over to the gathered huddle of people. They ceased all conversation and looked over at me, giving me some smiles and nods. Stupid smiling nodders. Tifa came over and wrapped my left hand in hers, squeezing it gently. Man, those kids were lucky to have her as a mum. If I had Tifa as a mum, I'd never be upset! She was so good at giving comfort.

"Turns out that geezer wants me in Wutai by tonight, or he'll kill me. Or something like that," I said just a little too cheerfully, wincing as I saw the frowns form on most of their faces, except for Rude, Vincent's and Reno's. Reno just stood there with his little smirk, hands shoved in his pockets. Damn Turk.

"Well, good thing we have a plan," Cloud said quietly, sitting down on a bar stool. I looked over at him dubiously.

"Well, if it involves surgery to get me gills and webbed fingers, count me out!" Barret and Reno snorted at this, Nanaki shaking his head gently.

"It involves hiding you, like you suggested earlier. We will send a few people with you, to keep you out of harm's way while the rest of us will talk with Godo, or find a way to null the ceremony." Aww, Nanaki was so wise with his wise voice and wise brain. I walked over and got down on my knees to give him a hug, and he didn't even tell me to get off or anything!

"Oke dokes then. So, who's stashin' me away?"

There was a collective silence around the room, as everyone briefly considered it.

"Well, we think it would be wise if Vincent accompanied you, since he has the most assets that could assist you," his voice rumbled in his throat, vibrating onto my skin. I nodded at this suggestion, because it made sense. Who better to 'protect' me then Mister I'll-Kill-You-If-You-Look-At-Me-Funny?

"Reno should go with you too." I looked around the room to spot the person who offered the 'helpful' suggestion, my eyes falling onto Cloud. I glared as best as I could at him, only earning a shrug in reply.

"He's a Turk, Yuffie. They're trained for this kind of thing."

Damn Tifa and her logical logic! But still… why did it have to be him? Surely a different Turk could come?

"So why Reno then? Can't I have Elena? She's funner," I pouted, giving my kicked-puppy look.

"Sorry Yuffie, I'm working a job at the moment. A job's a job," she shrugged in apology, clasping her hands together. Fine. Be that way! Stupid Elena… she shouldn't be immune to my look! I spent ages perfecting it!

"Well… how 'bout you, Rude man? You gonna turn me down too?" I turned my look to full force, as he squirmed slightly under my intense gaze.

"My apologies," he said quietly, adjusting his glasses. "I am unavailable for your… request."

"Looks like you're stuck with me, sugar," Reno said smugly, not moving from his position. I growled in frustration, throwing my hands above my head. Why? Why me? Why couldn't I have just been born as a chocobo? Sure woulda saved me a ton of effort.

"Go pack your stuff Yuffie, you've got to leave quickly," Tifa pushed me towards the stairs, and I reluctantly walked up towards the room I had claimed as my own. I stashed a few necessities (materia) inside the small bag attached to my shorts on the right side of my leg, strapping my Shuriken onto my back while slipping a few small throwing stars into the small pockets I made in my boots. You never know when you might be able to only reach your boots when in need of something sharp and pointy!

Well, that's my philosophy anyway.

I threw one last glance at my surroundings, before jumping out the window and running to the front of the bar.

"You losers comin' or what?" I yelled through the window I previously busted, ignoring the small sigh Vincent gave. He should've been glad, be got to go on an adventure with me! I started jumping at the prospect of an adventure, I hadn't been on one since… well, forever!

"Which way?" Vincent asked quietly, and I enthusiastically pointed at whichever way seemed coolest. I waved goodbye to all of my friends, smiling as I gave them a thumbs up.

He simply 'Hn'ed, before stalking off in that direction, his cape swishing behind him. I skipped behind him merrily, mesmerized by the cape fluttering in the wind. Reno nudged me gently, and I glared at him. How dare he interrupt my cape watching!

"How long before the vampire goes nuts and eats one of us?"

"I'd give him an hour. Two, tops," I grinned at him, before slugging him in the shoulder. That's what you get when you mess with my cape watching! Nyuk nyuk nyuk…


	11. Chapter 11

**You have my apologies for getting this up late - I have good reasoning! So, stand down with those pitchforks and flaming torches as I explain my tale. I had to go to hospital for surgery, but I'm out now so it's all good, so the regular updating for this will resume. Hooray! On a side note - sorry for the crappiness of this chapter. I know I said I'd go to town on this one, but... I just don't have the energy or brain power necessary for such creativity, so it's just filler. And Cid. Me love Cid! And I'm gunna let you all in on a little secret - I don't plan chapters ahead! _Ohmygoshshockhorror._ Yeah. That's why they seem disjointed and whatnot, cause whatever pops into my head when I'm writing the chapter gets put in. Plus, I haven't proofread to make sure the spelling/grammer/punctuation is right, or if it all makes sense... so, sorry. I might do it later when I'm not so tired. Also, sorry if I didn't reply to many of your reviews... that was about the time I got sick, I think. Anyway, whoever guesses the Charlie the Unicorn reference gets... a double rainbow! Woah, that's so intense...  
Disclaimer: Gawd, I can't be witty all the time, folks! So this is just going to be plain. I dont own, or is affiliated or involved with the owning or other crap to do with this awesome thing. I just like borrowing characters for a while.  
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"I'm tiiiiiired," I whined for the hundredth time that hour as I trudged unenthusiastically behind Reno and Vincent. They kept on going like they never even heard me, but the slightest exhale from Vincent confirmed my suspicions.

I was finally grating on his nerves.

Good! Maybe he'd finally let me sleep. Stupid vampire.

We had been wandering around in this damn forest for gawd knows how long, and I was preeetty sick of cape-watching and all the stupid trees and dirt. I glanced up again, and saw that nothing had changed. They kept on going with their stupid pace, climbing over fallen trees and other obstacles one would expect to find in a stupid forest.

I sighed dramatically, kicking a stone up off the ground so it hit Reno in the back of the head. He turned around and glared at me, rubbing the back of his head.

"Woops," I chuckled, hiding my mouth behind my yellow hand. I still hadn't gotten a chance to wash it off yet, but it was kinda flaking so it was a nice distraction, trying to peel it off.

Yeah yeah, I know. Sad, isn't it?

Well, what else would you do trekking round in some random forest to gawd knows where with a bunch of non-talking people?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Well, Reno was actually really talkative before, which was cool with me… but then Vinnie kinda chucked a Vinnie-fit – meaning he insinuated shooting Reno if he didn't shut up – so he kinda quieted down a bit. Stupid Vince.

Anywho, it was upon the 4th time I kicked a rock at Reno's head when it happened. Picture this:

Me, a sweet, gorgeous, sexy beast making my way through a big bad forest with the company of two strange people, when a massive whistling sound was heading straight at my beautiful ol' face.

So, naturally, I leapt on the closest boulder I could find and pulled out my glorious shuriken, readying myself to kick whoever's ass needed kicking. Sadly, that situation didn't end up happening.

Turns out Cid had attempted to behead me by the use of a flying Cait Sith, which is what I gathered from the cursing Cid was spitting out between breaths. And, you know, the Cait Sith chillin' at the base of a tree with its crown haphazardly hanging off its head. Stupid robot. Stupid Reeve.

"Cid!" I cried with unhidden glee, racing over to the old geezer to wrap him in one of my famous strangle hugs. He struggled to choke out some more curses, but eventually managed before shoving me off him. Ahh, good ol' reliable Cid.

"Hey old man, I forgot to say this earlier but thank you for teaching me your wise ways!" I exclaimed happily, picking Cait Sith up off the ground and dusting him off. Cid looked at me like I'd grown an extra head, scratching the back of his neck.

"What the hell are you smokin' brat?"

"Get off it! I was being appreciative of you and you go and dismiss it!" I sniffed, now thoroughly upset, nyuk nyuk nyuk… the old bastard softened up though, and gave me a quick ruffle of the hair.

"I guess I should say thanks for actually listening, kid." I scowled at the kid part, and I was just about to tell him what I had learned from him when Vincent stepped in. Stupid brooding broodster.

"How did you find us?" Yeah, trust him to get straight into it. No dilly-dallying on his part.

"You kiddin' me? I could hear the brat whining miles away!" He wheezed with a laugh, chewing on an unlit cigarette. After making a mental note to steal all of Cid's cigarettes, I dropped Cait Sith onto the ground - which he didn't quite like apparently, if all the "ouch!" and "lassie's" I got from him meant anything – and I punched Cid in the arm. He deserved it.

"Oww! Fu-"

"Cid."

"Whaddaya want?"

"How and why did you find us?" Vince asked again, using his 'scary' face. Ha, yeah. His 'scary' face is pretty much his normal face, except he puts more glare-power in. Y'know, I think we shoulda used Vince's glare power to function everything instead of all that damn Mako… woulda saved aloooooot of trouble.

But, then again, I wouldn't of been able to show off my awesome ninja-ness to everyone, would I?

Eh, I woulda found a way.

Anyway, Vince just kept on glaring at Cid until he finally replied with a blunt, "brat forgot her headband shit-thing."

I gaped up at Cid in surprise, before snatching it outta his hands. I pushed my makeshift Vinnie-inspired one off my head and replaced it, instantly feeling more awesome. It really touched me though, how Cid went to all that effort. If I coulda picked my dad, it woulda been him, hands down. Screw Godo! I jumped on Cid and gave him another strangle-hug, not caring when he shoved me off and muttered obscene things under his breath about me and my mentality.

I took it in stride, grinning as wide as I could and tied the make-shift headband on my wrist in a neat little bow, just in case I needed it. In case you couldn't tell, I liked hoarding things.

"It was the damn robot who found ya – god knows how – and I had to fly over here to deliver the goddamn thing," he glared at me as if it was my entire fault, (well, it was, but still), then turned around to leave. "Nanaki says he wants you lot to go up to Cosmo Canyon, says he's got something he wants to show Yuffie," he grumbled, then stormed back the way he came. Nice.

"Wait, you aren't gonna take the freaky cat-thing with you?" Reno called after him, earning a few rather explicit curses from Cid. I sighed dramatically, throwing my hands up in the air.

"Gawd, what is WRONG with everything?" I nearly took off Vinnie's pretty little head when he glared at me, but I restrained myself and kicked another rock - though this one was a pretty decent size – which, much to my amusement, hit Cait Sith in the head. Again.

"Oy! Watch we're you're kicking, lassie!" He scolded me, straightening his crown in an angry manner. I just laughed at him, jumping when Reno sidled up to me.

"Say, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know which way Cosmo Canyon is, do you?" He nudged me with his elbow, eliciting _another_ glare from Vinnie.

"Gawd Vince, if the wind changes your face will be stuck like that… er… more than it usually is," I amended quickly, earning a smirk from Reno.

"We are headed in the direction of Cosmo Canyon. We should reach there by tomorrow," and with that, he swished around swishtastically and stalked off, leaving a very confused me and a very smirky Reno behind.

"… Old geezer couldn't of given us a lift?" I muttered more to myself than anyone, but Reno heard anyway.

"I don't think anyone wants you chuckin' up everywhere sugar, so it's safer to keep you in the company of a very, _very_ strange vampire. At least if you spew on him he won't wanna eat you. I think," he muttered to me, but Vinnie still heard and gave him another glare.

Seriously, I was pretty damn sick of his stares.

So, being the awesome person I am, I marched right on up to the damn vampire and stared straight into his slightly surprised face.

"Vincent Valentine, if I see you glare _one_ more time, I will knock you out and steal your kidneys… and materia," I threatened, poking his cheek for emphasis. He looked at me strangely, before stalking off again. At least it was without a glare this time.

"You touched his face, and you lived?" Reno chuckled in surprise, but was smart enough to say it low enough that Vinnie didn't hear.

"I'm Yuffie Kisaragi, the White Rose of Wutai!" I exclaimed proudly, pulling my makeshift vampire cape that I still had on further around myself. "And you know what? I do whatever the hell I want," I poked my tongue out at him, but he just shook his head and started walking again.

"Hey… hey! Don't forget me!" A harried Cait Sith yelled from behind us, scrambling to catch up.

Gawd. I was in the company of a Turk, a vampire, and a robot. What the hell could go wrong?

Everything is the answer you're looking for.

_Everything._


	12. Chapter 12

Holy cow-soap, I live! Sorry for the long wait, it's a loooooooong story... but to cut it short, school and gypsies. I swear, it was insane. Anyway, back to normality, it took me DAYS to write this, even though it's just more precious filler... I get to this stage in every chapter story I do. As soon as I get past chapter 10, everything goes downhill. Literally. And I've only just noticed how crappy my writing is in this story, it's nowhere near my usual standard back at my old fandom... Must be Yuffie's influence on me! Anyway, I'm totally reformatting how I open up my AN's, notice how it's not in bold? I think I like it... Anywho, **WE'RE IN TWO COMMUNITIES!** Ahem... just needed to put that out there. I was so excited when I saw that! Yay us! Also, on a side note, in the movie Advent Children and Sephiroths all like "_Cloud I'm gonna kill you!" _and being a jerk, in the bit where he says "What I want, Cloud," does anyone else think he sounded like a cowboy? Or is that just me? ... I think things just got awkwarder.  
Disclaimer: If I could give you a list of things I do own, this wouldn't be on it. But a bottle of gummy crocodiles and a fish-mutant toy would be. And just to let you know, I'm proud to own such things. Do you think if I go over and visit SquareEnix they'd give me it? Y'know... as long as I ask nicely. Pfft, yeah. Dream on.  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Well, at least I can say it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. Mine and Reno's chatter filled what would've been the awkward silences, and Vincent refrained from glaring more than usual, which was nice…ish

And Cait Sith… well, now I remember why I wanted to kill him. Why did Reeve have to make such an obnoxious robot? Surely he could've made something cooler… like… a massive giant phoenix mutant bird robot or _something._ But no, Reeve has to go be ridiculous. And it would have been nice if Reeve controlled Cait Sith a bit more, instead of letting him run wild and free.

Maybe an accident could happen… Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Anyway, robot killing thoughts aside, it was actually kinda nice. I've always loved adventuring, and after the whole Sephiroth fandango I only went on the occasional hunt for odd bits of Materia and whatnot… but it just wasn't the same, y'know? And then I was crashing at Teef and Chocobo Butt's little bar home thing for a bit and it was kinda boring and then all of a sudden all this crazy stupidness pops up and BAM. Adventure away!

Anywho, by the time we had found a place to sleep it was pretty dark and I was pretty tired. Awesome combination for sleeping, right? But no, I wasn't allowed to do that, cause that would be too good, wouldn't it? Instead I had to set everything up while Captain Claw and the Turkey went off and scouted for critters of the violent kind, while Cait Sith just got to sit there and laugh at me. Stupid robot cat.

I did an awesome job of setting everything up though, if I do say so myself. Well, not that there was much to set up… just a fire and some places for us to sleep, but I like to think I did pretty good. The two jerks returned from their little trip looking pretty much the same as before they left, which meant there wasn't many monsters around, which was a plus. At least I could sleep without being paranoid of being eaten.

But, all luxuries don't last as I noticed Vinnie sidle up to me. Well, that was a first!

Here was the great Vincent Valentine, interrupting my _precious_ sleeping time with his silence! Amazing.

"…"

And dotdotdots. Can't forget those. Y'know, I always wondered how he did that... how his silences made noises. Well, not really, but… you _knew_ it was him because all of a sudden all these _dotdotdot_ things are running around in your head and then bam, Vinnie appears and everything makes sense…ish.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm going on about either, but I do know that my head hurts thinking about it.

Anyway, he just sat there and stared at the fire in the typical Vincent fashion, not even bothering to say at least a hello. I glared up at him from my position on the ground, but it was useless. He didn't even so much as glance at me! How rude.

I huffed and folded my arms against my chest, smothering a smirk as his eyes flickered over to me. That's right vampy, I exist, damn you! He looked slightly amused, before he finally spoke.

"…Yes?"

"You can't be serious!"

"What do you mean?" Really? He had to ask? Couldn't he… y'know… FIGURE IT OUT OR SOMETHING? Gawd.

"I'm not invisible, am I?"

"No."

"Good." I nodded at his answer, before looking back up at the sky. I could hear Reno and Reeve chatting – thank gawd, I don't think I could stand another minute of Cait Sith's stupidness – but I could easily block them out. Cause I'm a super ninja. Duh.

"… Why do you ask?"

Oh, now he felt like initiating conversation. Awesome.

"No reason," I smiled widely at him, but he didn't notice. Because he still wasn't looking at me. Jerk.

It was silent once again – on our half, at least. Reno still wasn't shutting up – and it was kinda… nice. It wasn't awkward for once, like all silences are. That's why I like to fill them… because all awkwardness should be eliminated!

And mer-people. They need to be eliminated too. Because they DO exist, no matter what anyone else says. And they will eat us all. Alive.

Feeling incredibly brave – or stupid, take your pick -I decided to bite the whatsit, and do the unthinkable… the unimaginable… the unbelievable!

I asked Mr Grumpy-pants about his cape.

Dun dun dunnnn. Man I love ominous music.

"Hey Vincent?"

He nodded slightly, which I interpreted as a, "_Yes Yuffie, please continue speaking in your melodious voice that is ever so pleasing_," and continued.

"Why do you wear that cape?"

He turned and looked at me for a minute, and I felt very, very exposed. What was he looking for? Thank gawd I had a good poker face, or I would be dead by now. Dead as a doorknob, dead as a nail, dead as a donut… which is pretty dead, I'd say. But they sure are tasty…

" Why?"

"Just curious… I've never seen you without it!" I exclaimed, pushing myself up off the ground into a sitting position as I flung my arms up into the air. He looked at me for another moment, before he finally spoke.

"It is to remind me of all I've done wrong… my sins… my failures…" Gawd, did he ever say anything that wasn't depressing?

"But… you've saved the world a gazillion times! Surely that makes up for everything you may or may not have done!" I reasoned, but he just turned away like the moody little boy he is.

"Saving the world… a 'gazillion' times, as you say, is not sufficient enough to atone myself with," he murmured quietly, before he got up and stalked off. Stalking stalker.

I always knew Vince was a little heavy on the whole '_ohh I've sinned so horribly… my Lucrecia! My demon-ness! My failuring! Let's go and lock me in a coffin so I can sleep forever and become super scary to all that is good and pure in the world!' _and whatnot, but the fact that he wore a cape to symbolize it was a little… strange. Smart, if you were all poetic and crap, but strange if you're me. And I am me, so I concluded that it was strange.

I knew that he was a Turk all those gazillion years ago, and he was stationed to protect that Lucrecia chick, and then all this crazy stuff happened and he got iced by Hojo and experimented on till he was all like he was now, but that's all I know. I don't know any of the little details, but I think I'm alright without knowing them.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice someone sit down next to me, not until they nudged me. Damn nudger.

"What'd you say to get his panties in a bunch?" He grinned, pointing in the direction that Vince had just stalked off to.

"Nothing important," I grinned back, stretching back onto the ground. "Isn't it weird?" I asked conversationally, watching as he lay down too.

"What? Thinking about what underwear the vamps into?"

"_No!" _There was a pause as I tried to control my shocked laughter. "But as weird as that would be, I meant you being without your boyfriend."

"Oh, Rude? Nah, we are separable, believe it or not. We just choose not to be."

"Huh. Then why'd you come on this little adventure instead of being inseparable with him?"

"Because you need my help."

I snorted at this statement, causing him to smirk. Stupid smirk.

"I could manage just fine without you," I huffed, glaring up at the sky.

"Well, I beg to differ with you princess. Even Vincent agrees, seeing as he didn't kill me as soon as this little adventure started," he smirked at his logic, folding his hands beneath his head. "Aren't you angry?"

"Huh? Angry at what?"

"The whole fiasco thing you got goin' on. I know I'd be pissed," he admitted, stifling a yawn.

"Well, I was angry at first… but now… now I think I'm okay with it, 'cause I know it's not gonna happen. Just cause Godo says I have to marry some person doesn't mean I will… and even if he finds me, I'll just ninja his ass and run for the hills!" I exclaimed, pulling the make-shift Vinnie inspired over me. Good thing I had it for a blanket.

"Right," he nodded, before pulling himself up off the ground next to me.

"Where are you going?" I amazingly managed to mumble before I fell asleep. I didn't even get to hear his answer. Jerk. I guess that's the con side of being able to fall asleep so easily. But at least when I woke up the next morning, it was a pleasant surprise. A _very_ pleasant surprise indeed, nyuk nyuk nyuk…

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-  
**What pleasant surprise is this? Well, if I told you... that'd be no fun! Anyway...  
**IMPORTANT NOTE: **I will not be updating for at least 3 weeks... I have my trials in two weeks, and I have to study my butt off since I'm failing nearly everything due to my ill-timed surgery & attack of the throat bacteria, and the week after is dedicated to freaking out over the exams and herding Echidna's... which is very important, I tell you. Also, I may or may not be changing my penname... so if this is under a new name suddenly, dont be all "ZOMG WTH WHO IS DAT!" or anything, (and I seriously hope none of you type like that...) cause it's me. Just with a cooler name. Cause the one I have now is stupid. I think I was nuts when I chose it, and I don't like it anymore. If you have suggestions, feel free... but so far I'm edging towards the penname EquaScumfy, since that's my name on all other websites I like to lurk on... And, also, I have the rest of the stories plot planned out. Just so you know :D  
To the ExamMobile! *_swooosh*_


	13. Chapter 13

I AM INCREDIBLY SORRY. I've been so busy studying since I didn't exactly smash my trials the way I would of liked, and then I joined up Deviantart and started another story for Angeal and Zack and then I kinda hit a wall with this and I got really fustrated and made cupcakes which tasted like poo and then I've got tonsillitis according to my doctor earlier today and I just want to sleep forever, and now I've got a bajillion ideas in my head for my own original story, AND I JUST HAVE TO WRITE IT.  
Okay, now that that rant is over, I would like to say I'm sorry this one is so short, but that stupid wall won't let me think of how I want to write what I want to write. GYWETCIWAEVTCLKRJYCKNELJNTYUC. Also, I think I'm... bored? Is that the right word? With this story. It always happens after I get to chapter 11. It just gets harder and harder to write... BUT I WILL FINISH THIS, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. With that ending note, have a nice day. Oh, and updates maaaay be a little longer apart now... nowhere near as long as this one took though.**  
Oh, and lets see if we can make it to 100 reviews with this! We only need ten more ;) I'll pick a random from aaaaall the reviewers of that chapter when we hit that mark using my special rhyme... and yes, it is the abc. Anyway, then you'll get your own special one shot, and you have the freedom to decide what it's about, or you can let me pick ;) Either way, s'all good.  
Disclaimer: **YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC, nor can you stop me from not owning Final Fantasy 7. But, y'know, money donations are always welcome.**  
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So, I was in the middle of dreaming something that was weird – even for _me _– when I woke up somewhere I was definitely not sleeping at the night before. It was a welcome change - from dreaming about moons the size of basketballs trying to kill me - to be waking up somewhere that seemed unbelievably warm. Well, warmer than my cape blanket.

Which was kinda weird, seeing as the cape wasn't actually that good at keeping me warm. This was my first clue to the fact that I wasn't where I was last night.

My second clue was the sensation of not being on the ground and motion sickness stirring in my stomach, causing me to groan in annoyance. If I could rip out my stomach and replace it with someone else's, I would.

"Yuffie?"

Gawd, it was way too early to be hearing that voice! I wrenched my eyes open, only to receive an eyeful of red, which wasn't too helpful. I adjusted my head in an attempt to get a better view of wherever I was, when I saw the most amazing thing in my life.

It was a giant materia!

Ha, kidding. It was Vince.

Part of me registered how awkward this had to have been for him, but the more dominant part of my brain pushed out those thoughts and replaced it with giddiness.

Gawd, I was like a schoolgirl!

Anyway, after I got over the shock of having Mister Capetastic carrying me for whatever ungodly reason, my mouth decided to speak without my permission. Gawddammit.

"Urgh… I think there's some motion in my ocean."

Well, he set me down pretty quickly after that. Of course Vinnie wouldn't want princess puke all over his pointy clown shoes and precious cape. Jerk.

After a few calming breathes to settle my stomach, I squinted through the sunlight as I looked up at Vincent.

"What was the whole deal with the carrying business?"

"You were asleep."

"And you couldn't wake me up, because?"

"Because you sleep like a rock, princess," Reno decided to jump into the conversation, Cait Sith hanging onto his arm.

"That really doesn't help your image," I grinned up at him, not trying all that hard to hide my laugh.

"Since when is carrying cute robot cats not bad-ass?" He asked, feigning mock hurt. I rolled my eyes, then turned my attention back to Vinnie.

"You," I glared, my finger pointing at his face, "should have woken me up. I don't care if I sleep like a rock, this is _my_ adventure, got it?"

He just stood there and looked at me, his arm and claw folded against his chest.

"I thought you deserved it," he said quietly, and I immediately felt bad. He _was_ only doing something nice… and this wasn't even the good part of the adventure anyway, who cares if I missed a few extra couple of hours of it?

"Well, thank you," I mumbled quietly, dusting myself off as I stood up. "So, how much longer till we're there?"

"A couple of hours or so, sunshine," Reno winked, chucking Cait Sith at me.

"Wha-"

"I don't want it," he shrugged, before turning around and heading off to where I assume Cosmo Canyon was, leaving me to listen to Cait Sith's incredibly annoying commentary on the matter.

"Hey, Vinnie?"

"… Yes, Yuffie?"

"I would just like to say, that even though there are times when I want to shove you back into your coffin, I think you are a very good person, and I enjoy your sometimes non-existent company." I said it with a bright smile and sincere aura, because heck, the guy needed a break. All I ever do is make fun of him… and even though I find doing that hilarious, I think it's high time someone appreciated him.

He nodded at me, before swishing around in his fantabulous cape for more adventuring. And, if I wasn't mistaken, there might have been just the slightest hint of a blush on his face. Oh, I love life.


	14. Chapter 14

Wassup? New chapter, and it's longer than the last! Woo! By the way, I just read back this story, and my immediate reaction was PIWUTCONEPRTCE. I don't really think it makes much sense anymore, especially after this, but whatever. Just finished my School Certificate (which I totally aced, by the way), so writing is back to a probably 1 chapter every two weeks, I'm not sure yet...  
Also, **4 reviews?** Did I do something wrong? **I WANTED TO REACH 100.** Ahh well, we can do it, and we can help each other, I know we can! ... I guess that only works for real families. Goddamit Tifa, get outta my head!  
Disclaimer: So, uhh... I can't get sued atm guys, I'm buying my best friends Christmas present and I need all the money I can get, even if I'm still at the brainstorming stage. Why, oh WHY won't she tell me what she wants?  
**Warning?:** There is one teensy weensy swear word in here, the ever abused, dreaded, FEARED word that even I dislike, but it seemed fitting for the moment. Yeah, it's the F word. God I hate saying that, f word. Pfft.  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**

Y'know, Cosmo Canyon is actually quite pretty. I mean, it's all desert-like and hot, but it's actually really beautiful for sunsets down at the Cosmo Candle, or even just chillin' up on some mad rocks or whatever. Nanaki was being all host-like and met us out the front, giving me a nice little greeting I didn't understand a word of and a little doggy-grin.

He's just too cute, even if he wants to be grown up. I can't imagine why. Grown up people suck, seriously. It's always _blahblahblah _responsibilities _blahblahblah _common sense _blahblahblah_ be mature. Who wants to do that? Crazy people, obviously.

Anyway, after he showed us where we were staying so we could shower and get all that stupid monster gore off us and had an extremely boring conversation with Vinnie, we all trotted off towards the observatory place, which was nice. I always loved that place, it just seems so… mystical, I guess.

"So, watcha wanna show me, Red?" I won't lie – I was curious. Well, I'm always curious, but this time it was like if I didn't know what it was, I was gonna exploded into a million pieces!

Which would be incredibly unattractive, believe it or not.

Anyway - back to the matter at hand – Nanaki just looked up at me and did his little wolfy-grin again, a rumble escaping his throat.

"I have recently stumbled across something that I thought you might be interested in, Yuffie. Even though you are unpredictable at best and occasionally exhibit childish actions, I believe that you are the only person qualified for this matter."

I stuck my tongue out at his words, though I was secretly flattered. Shucks, who knew Red actually thought good of me?

"Oooh, what is it? Is it a kitten? Cause I have millions of those back in Wutai! No, no… why would you keep a kitten? You're a dog…ish thing, so you'd wanna eat it, right? Oh, is it something to blackmail someone with? You know how I _love_ blackmail, especially on Cloud! I remember that one time he and Tifa had that party and-"

"No, Yuffie," I could practically hear Reno's eyes rolling as Red stopped my rambling, his furry mane shaking as he slowly shook his head. "I found a… suspicious materia, to say the least."

As soon as I heard materia, it was like everything in that room melted away. Seriously, all someone has to say is materia and I turn into a nutcase.

"MATERIA?" I screeched, pulling myself closer towards Red, "why didn't you say that earlier? Why, oh _why_ did you not tell me this before?" My hands were shaking as I clutched at Nanaki's mane, and he looked slightly alarmed until the Fun Police pulled me off him. Stupid vampire.

"Calm down, Yuffie."

"No, I will not calm down!" I retorted, folding my arms across my chest. "This is about materia, Vince. _Materia!"_ I exclaimed, as if that explained everything. And it did, pretty much. Me and materia go hand in hand, you can't have one without the other.

Nanaki awkwardly cleared his throat, regaining my lost attention.

"Do you wish to see it, or are you going to continue acting ridiculously?" He asked patiently, his one good eye carefully watching me. I huffed in defeat with a glare to Vince and Reno, spinning around on my heels to face Nanaki.

"Lead the way, buddy! But do the potential rapists have to come along, too?" I asked with a dash of hope in my voice, ignoring Reno's snicker and Vinnie's frown.

Nanaki didn't bother reply; he only waltzed over to some fancy contraption and pulled down the lever with his head. A small hole in the wall opened up, showing a cute little box. I love boxes…

Anyway, back on track, he motioned for me to open it, so I slyly slid over to the box, snatched it up and ripped the lid off. In style, of course.

And there it was, sitting in the nice little box. It was the most glorious, prettiest, amazing thing I have ever seen!

Red was right when she said it was a suspicious materia. I hadn't seen any that looked like it. Sure, it glowed like other materia, but the shape was different. It was smaller than the average materia, and was a little more jagged.

Y'know how when you touch materia, you get a huge rush and it's like a huge wave of exhilaration has just crashed through your body?

No?

Well, now you do. Anyway, when you held it, it didn't… feel right. I frowned at it slightly, moving it from one hand to the other. It didn't feel as… wild, as the other ones did. It was more controlled, and it felt compressed in a way. Just… unnatural, I guess.

I looked up at Nanaki, and he shook his head slowly at me.

"It does not feel like it should, and I worry," he confessed, bowing his head a little. I looked over at Reno and he shrugged.

"I've never been one for materia, sunshine. I wouldn't have a clue," he admitted with a shrug, shoving his hands back into his pockets. I saw a shiny flicker of gold reach into my hand and pluck it out, and I was about to unleash hell until I realized who it was.

He ran the small materia over his normal hand, frowning more than usual, which was saying something. He looked at it a little more, before handing it back.

"That is… not a natural materia," he said slowly, shaking his head a little. Well, duh, I kinda had that figured out. I stuck my tongue out at him, watching the materia glint in the light.

"You think it's man made?" Nanaki asked in confusion, padding on closer to us.

"It isn't as free," I spoke up, looking over at Vince. "Have you tried to use it?"

Nanaki nodded his head, his beads jangling as he did so. "Nothing happened. I tried, but it didn't respond."

That was weird. Materia _always _responded, as long as you knew what you were doing. I looked up questioningly, and he nodded his head again.

"You can try, if you wish."

I gave him a grin, focusing on the tiny little ball of glorious magic in my hand. I closed my eyes, and concentrated as hard as I could.

And you know what? Absolutely nothing happened!

"_Miss Kisaragi?"_

I opened my eyes in alarm, fishing for words as I saw the one sight I really didn't want to see at that moment.

Oh, yeah. Nothing happened… except I was back in Wutai.

"… _Gawdfuckingdammit!"_


	15. Chapter 15

Hey scumbuckets, here's another chapter! I don't know if this is a good idea, considering I'm flying higher than a kite on painkillers right now, due to the fact I broke my leg a few days ago and I just had a plate put in earlier today, and it sucks. Ass. Anyway, I have a gajillion PM's to reply to that will be late, due to the fact that my thought process isn't quite that coherent right now... so yeah. Read & Review and I'll love you foreeevvveerrr! Plus, I have another Yuffentine up that I'm starting as a chapter story, called **Accidentally, Whole Heartedly Mental for You**, so check it out maybe? Also, I have a craving for Chinese food. Too bad its 12:35 in the morning.  
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Final Fantasy 7. If I did, I would never have broken my leg, because I wouldn't own my stupid skateboard. I'd have something cooler, like a hoverbike.  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

So there I was, gaping like a fish while Shake looked at me like I had appeared out of thin air. Which I kinda had, but that's not the point.

Point is, I was pissed.

Confused, too, but anger was my main focus at that point in time.

"What the _hell!" _I screeched, stamping my foot on the ground like a 2 year old. Hey, angry Yuffie doesn't mean grown up Yuffie. Grown up Yuffie was long gone. I looked down at the traitorous materia in my hand, glaring at it with all the glare-power I could muster.

"Ah, Yuffie, nice to see you could join us," an all too familiar voice cooed from behind me, causing me to whirl around in surprise.

"You!" I yelled, pointing my finger at him. "What is this devilry?"

He looked at me calmly, ignoring my outburst. Jerk.

"Why Yuffie, I simply required your presence, and what better way to summon you than with Materia?"

I stared at Godo blankly, trying to figure out whether this was all some kind of sick joke or not. I didn't think it was.

"So… you're telling me that you planned out this whole elaborate scheme on the off chance that I may or may not stumble across Cosmo Canyon and the materia?"

He nodded once, a pleased smile on his face.

"Yuffie, being your father I have grown… accustom to your tricks and foolery, thus I knew how you would react. I wasn't really going to send Staniv to fetch you; leviathan knows what you'd do to the poor man. Instead, I simply used some tricks myself to make this happen. Wonderful, isn't it?"

"But… you… how…"

"Ever since Meteor and Deepground, the planet has slowly, but surely been repairing itself. I'm sure you know that when Mako energy is condensed, Materia is produced. Materia then allows the holder to access the Lifestream's knowledge and power and channel that power, but we are all aware that the Lifestream has suffered a lot these past few years. Thus, when natural Materia is formed, it can either channel the purified Lifestream, or the infected part. That is why that Materia sent you here – it based itself on the infected Lifestream, and transported you to a place of negative thoughts – here, in other words."

I swear, I had never heard him ramble so much until then. Gawd knows how long it took him to figure all that out!

"So… you're saying that this Materia is connected to the cruddy part of the Lifestream that has a bajillion negative whatsits about Wutai, so it sent me here for funsies?" He nodded in reply, clasping his hands in front of him.

"Yes. Now, let's meet your suitor, shall we?"

**-x-x-x-x-x-SPACE AND TIME ULTIMATE JUMP-x-x-x-x-**

"_RUFUS FREAKIN' SHINRA? YOU WANT ME TO MARRY HIM?"_ I never thought I could yell that loud, but it was a nice discovery. It was sure to come in handy sometime in the future.

I still stick by that reaction, by the way.

Honestly, who woulda thunk it? Okay, maybe it isn't so surprising. I mean, Rufus _is_ still trying to atone or some crap, plus he's trying to get his stupid company back on its feet, and what better way to attain peoples trust then through a political marriage?

Man has brains, I'll give him that.

But does he have anything else? No. No he does not. I still think he's a slimy, creepy, stupid white suit wearing jerk who needs to go find better employees. Seriously.

"Hello to you too, Miss Kisaragi," he greeted with a smirk, standing up from his seat. Stupid formal, polite jerk.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN CHARM ME, BUT IT WON'T WORK!" I jumped away from him, throwing a chair in the way so he couldn't walk over to me, cause I'm sneaky like that.

Ninja, duh.

Anyway, my dear father just stood in the corner shaking his head at me, while the rest of his stupid staff tried to calm me down. Foolish people.

"Who's idea was this? Huh? Who was the smart guy who decided this would all be fine and dandy? Cause last time I checked, Wutai had no love for Shinra," I basically growled, giving everyone in the room a hard stare. The lesser staff and personnel coward, but Godo and Rufus stood tall.

"I wish to make amends for my previous actions," Rufus spoke, a small smirk on his face. _Yeah, you won't be smirking so much when I punch you in the f-_

"It will benefit the whole populace of Wutai," Godo spoke up, interrupting my rather satisfactory train of thought.

"Did the Turks know?" I asked warily, cause I swear to Leviathan, if Reno had any freaking idea about this, he was a dead man. A very, VERY dead man.

"I assure you, Miss Kisaragi, that my Turks were not aware of this arrangement."

Why was he so polite? Seriously?

"Look, call me Yuffie before I punch you in the face, and pull your head in! There is no _freakin'_ way I'm marrying you, okay?"

Yeah, like they'd listen to me.

Gawd, if there was anything I would have wished for at that moment, it would have been to have Vincent to come and glare at everyone till they melted into puddles of goo. Sigh.


	16. Chapter 16

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years! I know it's kinda late to say that, but I still wanted to give everyone a nice little holiday cheer greeting thing. Anywho, massively late chapter, since I was busy with Christmas, turning 16 and going away to the beach for a while, but I am back now! Chapters are getting harder to write, but I shall not let that stop me! That's why this one is a little short though, sorry. Also, thanks a bunch for the reviews. You guys are better than sugar, and I say that sincerely.  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

So, as you are all most probably aware, Vinnie didn't show up to glare at everyone for me. Instead, I was pushed and shoved all around the place as people foiled my brilliant plans of escape. Jerks.

It wasn't until 4 attempts of escape later that Godo had come to talk to me, trying to goad me into accepting his little ploy of marriage. I didn't take a bar of it though, but I did take the opportunity to ninja my phone back from him. For a pretty conniving man, he sucks at the basic stuff.

Anyway, one I had liberated my phone from his person, I scrolled through my contacts list until I found Vinnie's number, but when I tried to call it I got a lovely little message saying my phone service had been disconnected.

Yeah, I went into rage mode for a little after that, but then I calmed down. Mainly because someone musta' slipped a tranquilizer into my drink, but partly because I was too tired to be angry. It requires so much effort… effort I was saving to get my butt outta there.

Anyway, I fell asleep pretty quickly after that, as tranquilizers tend to make me incredibly drowsy, and dreamt of nothing, which was kinda disappointing. I mean, what's the point of going to sleep if you don't dream anything awesome?

I woke up feeling pretty alright, all things considered. I leapt out of bed with awesome grace that only I can manage – uh, duh – and had another quick escape attempt through the ventilation shaft, but I was caught when I was passing over a grate and it decided to give way, which kinda upset me. I wasn't _that_ heavy!

I bet this won't surprise you though – guess where I fell? Yeah, that's right, Rufus's room.

Honestly, the things that happen to me!

Anywho, he just looked at me for a moment, before getting out of his chair and walking over to me.

"Do you need any assistance, Yuffie?"

I groaned loudly, giving him a glare as I pulled myself up off the ground.

"Not from you."

He chuckled at my response, picking up the lamp I knocked on my way down.

"Hm, yes, I expected as much," he deadpanned, walking back to his chair and sitting down. "Seat?" He offered, gesturing towards a seat on the opposite side of the table from him. I sighed loudly, showing my disdain for the situation as I slowly sat on the chair.

He nodded, returning his attention to the newspaper in his hands. It was an awkward-ish silence as I sat there twiddling my thumbs, until Rufus finally put down the paper and looked at me again.

"Yes?"

"How can you stand this?" I blurted out, but I hardly regretted it. You kinda grow used to this sorta thing after a while. He thought about it for a moment, before folding his arms across his chest.

"I was raised into politics, as such it has become second nature to me, I suppose you could say. This is just another unpleasant faction of being who I am, and who you are," he surmised, his usual smirk nowhere to be seen.

I lowered my head slightly, mulling over his reply.

"So… that means… you don't wanna get married?"

"Through no fault of your own, as I'm sure you are a… charming young woman, Yuffie, but yes, this is not something I specifically want."

"Then why are you doing it?" I yelled at him, pushing myself off the chair. He didn't seem surprised at my reaction, but then again, I don't think Rufus really gets surprised anymore.

"Yuffie, are you not tired of the world being in the state it is in? Yes, it may have been Shinra's fault entirely, and I am willing to accept that, but do you not long for a better world? I will do everything in my power – as well as funding the WRO, of course, to ensure that the future populace can live in a world free of the horrors we have endured. If that means I have to make personal sacrifices along the way - so be it."

I barely refrained from snorting at his speech, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Well, that's all fine and dandy, but that doesn't have to mean marriage, y'know? I don't want Godo to get any ideas that I'll willingly go along with tradition, lest he gets other traditions forced on me," I explained, sitting back down on the chair.

"Though I can understand your reasoning, do you not realize you are being somewhat selfish?"

Yeah, _that_ caught me off guard. Who was he to call me selfish? He nearly destroyed the world for monetary and power gain!

"Like you can talk," I bit back venomously, roughly pushing myself up off the chair. As I was stalking towards the door, he called over to me.

"You know I'm right, Miss Kisaragi. Oh, and another tip for the near future, watch out for rigged grates in air vents, you never know why someone might have set them."

I didn't look back as I slammed the door shut.


End file.
